1
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Apologies about that, I didn't have the shades on. I don't know why actually, I spent the 10 minutes before coming on stream just looking in the mirror trying to pretend to be Connor Williams for a bit. Didn't work out for me and thought I'm going to do a Stuart Chaffee stream. So this is just the way it is. And that was just an impression that was terrible. Absolutely terrible.

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Personal website. We'll give you some basic rules for designing a good looking website. We'll show you one of the best web design software packages that makes it easy to create your own site. And we'll even tell you how to add streaming audio to your site. Plus some new technology to speed up those graphic downloads. Some tips on how to get Yahoo to list your site on their search engine. And some advice on how to make your website accessible to the disabled. Also my pick of the week. It's all coming.

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Technology websites. Next on the Computer Chronicles. Thank you very much. Get a cup of morning, Joe. I've got a can of Coke.

4
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Computer Chronicles is made possible in part by SoftSource Incorporated, publishers of Pro One's Mathematics Tutor in a Box for school year 98-99. Tutor in a Box.

5
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:14,640
And by Z Auction, the live online shopping experience.

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00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:26,260
Additional funding from PC Connection and Mac Connection. The catalog and online superstore with PC and Mac products. Toll-free technical support and overnight delivery.

7
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:37,860
And by Windows Magazine. Delivering desktop, enterprise and internet computing news, reviews, features and how-tos for a Windows world.

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Because the world runs on Windows.

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Shab. Shab-shab-a-dab-a-dab.

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A great, great, great, great, great, great, great situation there as the guys line up all the crew.

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They're actually doing a bit of acting work there. They could have got agents by the SAG, Screen Actors Guild.

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Or the FAG, Film Actors Guild. But this is not a FAG production.

13
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,780
It seems to be a TAG, Television Actors Guild production.

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And already we can see Eminem is lined up to take a pot shot at the big stew baby Shafé.

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One thing actually I was doing there before I came on the stream and pressed stream button.

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Was recording myself singing a kiss from a rose with a made-up language by Seal.

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I just want to play this to you and see what you think about it.

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And whether or not it's something worth pursuing in the long run.

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Sorry, sorry.

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00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,580
Just got Bellisaur in the chat there.

21
00:02:55,700 --> 00:03:00,440
Just really ruining my buzz by saying it's a bit early for this crack.

22
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If it is Bellisaur, why is it too...

23
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It's not early enough for you to write text on the stream though.

24
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:08,440
Do you know what I mean?

25
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I'm fucking doing a brand new language demonstration of Kiss's rose from a seal.

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And you're there talking absolute seal chat.

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Don't need it.

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We're going to start again now.

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Fucking hell.

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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

32
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I'm going to start again now.

33
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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

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I'm going to start again now.

41
00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:17,260
I'm going to start again now.

42
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I'm going to start again now.

43
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I'm going to start again now.

44
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I'm going to start again now.

45
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,360
I'm going to start again now.

46
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I'm going to start again now.

47
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,360
I'm going to start again now.

48
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I'm going to start again now.

49
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I'm going to start again now.

50
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I'm going to start again now.

51
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I'm going to start again now.

52
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There we go.

53
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,760
And a little laugh there at the end.

54
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Didn't mean to have that bit in there.

55
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But anyway, that's that.

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00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,120
Let's get on to this guy.

57
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It looks like Duke Nukem and Eminem

58
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have had some kind of love child

59
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,320
who's about to start talking to fucking Coochie Stu.

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00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,520
Hi, and welcome to the Computer Chronicles.

61
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I'm Stuart Shafé.

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What a lovely situation that man is.

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Well, life used to be simple.

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To be plugged into the rest of the world,

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all you needed was a phone number.

66
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Then you had to get a fax machine,

67
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then an email address,

68
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and now if you're anybody,

69
00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:06,700
you're expected to have your own website.

70
00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:07,600
Well, the good...

71
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Website.

72
00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:10,340
The good news is it's easier than ever

73
00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:11,780
to put up your personal website.

74
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The bad news is there are a lot of

75
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,340
bad-looking websites up there.

76
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:16,000
So how do you...

77
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,160
Liam Rogers, thanking you.

78
00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:22,960
Liam Rogers, what did you do?

79
00:05:23,260 --> 00:05:23,920
You tipped.

80
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,060
Thank you.

81
00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:27,160
The new song reminds me of the fellas

82
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,660
Tommy Schlug met during the start

83
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:29,460
of the Berlin Stream.

84
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:30,700
Wonderful stuff.

85
00:05:30,820 --> 00:05:31,820
I must go to work now.

86
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:32,420
Heartbreak.

87
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:33,620
Emoji.

88
00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:34,780
Thanks very much there, Liam.

89
00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:36,500
Make sure yours is a good one.

90
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,440
And Glenn Davis, you're going to be our expert.

91
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You started doing the cool side of the day

92
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about four years ago.

93
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Cool side of the day.

94
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,180
Duke Nukem.

95
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,600
Time to code.

96
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,020
Years ago.

97
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,620
So you've looked at a million websites by now.

98
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Feels like a building.

99
00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:50,940
He's been looking at more than fucking websites, Stu.

100
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:51,600
Okay.

101
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,400
And tell us, are there any basic rules of thumb

102
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for what's a good site, what's a bad site

103
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:56,760
in terms of design?

104
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Try to keep it simple.

105
00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,980
Try to have five navigation...

106
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,000
I fucked it up.

107
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,600
Meant to have the chaos music for when he came on.

108
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:06,320
Meant to do one of these.

109
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,140
It's early morning.

110
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I started the fucking stream

111
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,760
without even having my shades on.

112
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:13,880
That's how fucked up it is.

113
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:27,960
Look at the depth of the blue tonality in that denim.

114
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,380
I don't really think it reads on the stream.

115
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I'm not sure.

116
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,500
It's reading on my screen here.

117
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,460
I think the colour is set up on my stream.

118
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Streamy screamer.

119
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Thank you very much, Conrad, very much for the tip there.

120
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Song was great.

121
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,820
Get Louis Walsh on the line, Francis.

122
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Christmas number one.

123
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Don't worry.

124
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I think I might actually subject you to another rendition of that song very soon,

125
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even before we get in touch with Louis Walsh.

126
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:53,800
But it's a lovely scenario.

127
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It's a Levi's denim fucking wrangler dingo scenario.

128
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And it's a great combination pack with the fucking red shirt as well.

129
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Going to try and actually keep the language to a minimum today.

130
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:12,700
You know, we'll see how far that goes considering I've probably said curse words.

131
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Probably about fucking 15 of them.

132
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Just said one right then.

133
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Thanks very much, Diaper Higgins.

134
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And it's topped off.

135
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It's a yellow, red and blue.

136
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,080
It's...

137
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:24,440
What's that?

138
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:25,920
A Romanian flag, is it?

139
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:30,040
This fella looks like the fucking flag of Romania playing Duke Nukem

140
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:35,000
whilst listening to fucking the Marshall Mathers LP on HTML pills.

141
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,100
Need to get a louder version of that there.

142
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:46,360
This lad looks like fucking Duke Domitrescu playing Nukem HD

143
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,740
on the fucking PS HTML 98 Windows package.

144
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Whilst listening to I'm Slim Shady, I'm the real shady.

145
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,520
All the other Slim Shadies you're just imitating.

146
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,480
Whilst what else was the other reference there?

147
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,020
There was a Romanian Marshall Mathers Juke Nukem.

148
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Got them all again.

149
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,140
Just repeated in a different order.

150
00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:11,880
Sites to look at to show both the good points and the bad points of web design.

151
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:13,160
So what's the first one you're going to show us?

152
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,180
This is the...

153
00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:19,980
When you think about chat topics on the net, you don't think about the hip-hop community.

154
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Fifth House on the left.

155
00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,700
This is a personal page done by a woman who keeps a diary.

156
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She's got a diary of being a new mother.

157
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She has some games that she's written and put up.

158
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And why do you like it?

159
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,340
It's a fun page.

160
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:32,500
It's got a retro 50s style to it.

161
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You feel like Ward in June.

162
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:38,680
And it meets your criteria you just mentioned at the top.

163
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All right, show us another one.

164
00:08:40,860 --> 00:08:42,060
All right, what's next?

165
00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:43,140
This is the gallery of regrettable food.

166
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This is what passed as quality entertainment back in the day when the websites had just kicked off.

167
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,780
98, it was the season of the site.

168
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And HTML was all the rage.

169
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,320
You could put in fucking JPEGs.

170
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,660
A lot of the sites had backgrounds that were just...

171
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,580
It's like you've done it on Microsoft Word.

172
00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:05,160
Just repeated patterns down the side.

173
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,280
Very, very boring it was.

174
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:13,400
But we hadn't really got to great stages of graphical GUIs on the websites yet.

175
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If that's what you call them.

176
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,520
The front end wasn't fucking buffed.

177
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This is a gentleman who has a passion about foods.

178
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,800
It meets the fun criteria.

179
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,140
Look at the size of that dub.

180
00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:30,840
That's a massive dub for the industry when they were able to fucking lash them into the situations as well.

181
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,220
What were they thinking?

182
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,840
How did they eat this bile?

183
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,580
Good questions.

184
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,380
But you won't find them answering here.

185
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:45,380
This is a simple introduction to poorly photographed foodstuffs and horrid recipes.

186
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,720
A gallery of regrettable food.

187
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:50,620
You like the design?

188
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:51,640
Did you like the design of that?

189
00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:52,280
It seemed pretty simple.

190
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,100
Yeah, it was pretty simple.

191
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:53,400
Okay.

192
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,460
Then we have the ultralight experience.

193
00:09:55,720 --> 00:10:00,400
It's a photographic journal of a man who learned to build and fly ultralight airplanes.

194
00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:02,860
And he's got a passion behind here.

195
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,560
And you can learn something.

196
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,080
Why do you like this?

197
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,820
You can learn something here that you would have never learned from anybody else.

198
00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:10,180
Obviously, nice use of graphics of the way it's underlaid behind the text and so on.

199
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:17,560
Stu is remarking there about this little plane, a little fucking, what is that, glider or something.

200
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:18,900
He likes that.

201
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:19,740
That's nice.

202
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,380
And it's a lovely underlay.

203
00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:23,940
This was probably blowing people's minds back in the day.

204
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:28,460
A website about fucking ultralight flight pilots or something.

205
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,300
That you would have never learned from anybody else.

206
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,660
Obviously, nice use of graphics of the way it's underlaid behind the text and so on.

207
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,800
Photographers tend to do really good use of graphics.

208
00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:36,840
All right, another example.

209
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:37,400
Okay.

210
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,300
This is an example of bad navigation.

211
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,080
All right, another example.

212
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,080
Okay.

213
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,580
They tend to do really good use of graphics.

214
00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:45,040
All right.

215
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:45,200
Another.

216
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:47,820
Lovely fake laugh from Stu there as well.

217
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:48,060
Yes.

218
00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:50,880
Look at this little giggle from Stu.

219
00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:52,880
Why does he laugh here?

220
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,940
Photographers tend to do really good use of graphics.

221
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:55,360
All right.

222
00:10:55,720 --> 00:11:00,740
And you can tell it's fake because your man hasn't, one, said anything funny.

223
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:06,340
And two, he hasn't even finished what he's saying before Stu does the laugh as well.

224
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,080
It's poetry enough.

225
00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:10,440
Poetry enough from the Stu pot.

226
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,600
Let's have a look at that again.

227
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,400
You would have never learned from anybody else.

228
00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:16,740
Obviously, nice use of graphics of the way it's underlaid behind the text and so on.

229
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,900
Photographers tend to do really good use of graphics.

230
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:19,320
All right.

231
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:19,940
Another example.

232
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:20,500
Okay.

233
00:11:20,820 --> 00:11:22,640
This is an example of bad navigation.

234
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,120
It's like he's watching Teletubbies again, right?

235
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:26,620
All right.

236
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:27,220
Another one.

237
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:27,880
Another one.

238
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:28,380
Again.

239
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:31,480
This is a fake corporation called Glass Dog World Domination.

240
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,600
You cannot see the navigation easily.

241
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,100
It's not real obvious where to go.

242
00:11:36,380 --> 00:11:38,620
That looks like the shittest one yet.

243
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,540
And Stu's remarking upon that there is no obvious way to go.

244
00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,420
Back by popular demand linking here.

245
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,380
We don't even know what this is.

246
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:45,740
Click to get to the next thing.

247
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:45,740
Yeah.

248
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,380
It's hit C.

249
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,340
This is a fake.

250
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:47,780
All right.

251
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:48,380
Another example.

252
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:48,960
Okay.

253
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,080
This is an example of bad navigation.

254
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,820
This is a fake corporation called Glass Dog World Domination.

255
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:56,480
I get you.

256
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,640
He's given us an example of bad shit.

257
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,940
You cannot see the navigation easily.

258
00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:04,120
It's not real obvious where to go to click to get to the next thing.

259
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:04,140
Yeah.

260
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,480
It's hidden on the right in the little colored box.

261
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,400
So that's that little dark bar on the right side there.

262
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:07,640
Right.

263
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,440
So you want to avoid something like that.

264
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,240
You want to have your navigation to be as obvious as possible.

265
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:12,740
Okay.

266
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,020
You want people to find what you've got.

267
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,100
Now, what's this?

268
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,700
This is an example of a personal resume site.

269
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,360
This is wetting the whistle there with the tongue.

270
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,200
Find what you've got.

271
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:30,860
Like a little, like a Duke Nukemistic Romanian lizard Mathers LP.

272
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,720
Thank you very much, Lemcy.

273
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:33,640
Very, very much.

274
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,380
Contribution towards the Uncle's Antihistamine Fund.

275
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,740
How's that head going, Tom?

276
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:40,920
Not too bad.

277
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,980
Now it's deflated completely and utterly deflated.

278
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:51,240
Much the way I felt the other day, actually, when we couldn't get that big fat W win at the end of the war zone stream.

279
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,640
But look at me again sometime soon.

280
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,160
Yes, indeed, Thomas.

281
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,160
In F indeed.

282
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:01,360
But there was a little wet of the whistle here.

283
00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:04,800
It was a human wet.

284
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:07,440
It wasn't augmented by a sip of water.

285
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:11,900
It wasn't, you know, you didn't have a lollipop or a sweet to pop in the mouth.

286
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:19,100
It was a human generated whistle wet technique known as tongue swipe.

287
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,180
And we're going to see a little example of this.

288
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:28,920
We don't really get to see this much out in the wild, but we're going to see it in super slow-mo with an ominous sounding track behind it as well.

289
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:29,840
I hope you enjoy this.

290
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,680
It should be as obvious as possible.

291
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,120
Okay.

292
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,300
Come on.

293
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:50,260
Come on.

294
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:51,560
Come on.

295
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:03,540
And there.

296
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:04,400
That was that.

297
00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:06,260
That was that.

298
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:07,200
Hopefully that's enough.

299
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,560
This is an example of a personal resume site.

300
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,620
This is an artist who has put up a site that's used as a personal resume.

301
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:18,660
She talks about what she does, where she lives, what she's looking for.

302
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:24,000
Maybe we could have had, Anand just wrote there, he caught a fly out in the air.

303
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,720
Let's just have a little look there and see if we could get that going again.

304
00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:29,900
Just to see if we can.

305
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,620
This is an example of a personal resume.

306
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:32,340
Can we animate?

307
00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:33,920
You want people to find what you've got.

308
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:35,760
Maybe we could animate.

309
00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:37,460
No, there's no way of animating this.

310
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:38,120
What's this?

311
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,280
This is an example.

312
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:39,840
Okay.

313
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:42,420
You want people to find what you've got.

314
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:44,700
Okay.

315
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,140
So maybe what we do for a moment is use your imagination here, guys.

316
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,660
This is an exercise in imaginative theory.

317
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,720
And David J. Knowles will tell you everything about this.

318
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:59,720
He was actually educated in the University of Slow Motion Tongue Techniques.

319
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:05,080
And thanks very much for the tip there, David J. Knowles, JJ Knowles and Lamsey as well.

320
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,680
Try to imagine this cursor here on the screen as a little fly.

321
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:18,740
And then we imagine Duke Nukem 3D, Time to Kill, Marshall Mathers LP Romania book as a lizard.

322
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,240
Let's a little have a look at this.

323
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,300
It's early morning, guys.

324
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:22,660
Okay.

325
00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:26,180
Started the stream on a bit of a fucking brash note.

326
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:35,400
First off, we will consult the sound bank to see if we have any fly sounds.

327
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:39,320
Bear with me here, guys, as I type FLY into the sound bank.

328
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:43,020
Nah.

329
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,200
We ain't got nothing there.

330
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,060
No.

331
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,280
So here we go.

332
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,740
We'll get that music going again.

333
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,700
So this cursor, imagine the cursor is the fly.

334
00:15:59,700 --> 00:15:59,780
Okay.

335
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:23,220
Didn't work out really well enough there.

336
00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:24,980
I mean, the tongue went for it, but it didn't.

337
00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:25,600
It didn't.

338
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,180
There's no way of, like, hiding that cursor into the mouth.

339
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,120
We'll just go again there.

340
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:44,700
What's this?

341
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:45,400
Sorry about that.

342
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,400
This is an example of a person.

343
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:49,500
And that was not the best.

344
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,180
But we tried.

345
00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:52,440
And that's the main thing.

346
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,620
Top of the morning, says Darker Shrine.

347
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:55,220
Thanks very much.

348
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,960
Enjoyed the stream with a wee bit of coffee.

349
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,260
Good start to the week.

350
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,720
So I just got a belch there.

351
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,980
The heavy buzz because I haven't gone for the coffee.

352
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,060
I've just gone for the can of sugar water.

353
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:11,440
Narubu Sen.

354
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:12,060
Thanks very much.

355
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,540
Much rather stay here and delve into the world of stew now and go into a cold garage.

356
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,980
Will we be on again later, Francis?

357
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,840
Look, let's see what we can do here.

358
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,420
We started strong, I believe.

359
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:24,080
Even though it was a weak, it was a poorly judged start.

360
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:27,340
But, fuck, let's just see how it goes.

361
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,000
We don't know.

362
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,220
We're not even two minutes, four minutes into this episode, sure.

363
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,500
We haven't even got, we've been watching the stream for 20 minutes.

364
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,500
We were only four minutes 15 into the ep.

365
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,160
Personal resume site.

366
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,240
This is an artist who has put up a site that's used as a personal resume.

367
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:50,240
She talks about what she does, where she lives, what she's looking for, what she can do for people who need her services, and all the things that she likes.

368
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,920
And you like it because it's just the nice design?

369
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,640
Stu doesn't understand why he likes this.

370
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:57,720
It's not that great.

371
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:04,640
Stu can't really make out any features on the website that would elicit any sort of fucking surprising, impressive response.

372
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,500
Soul Dance is what it's called.

373
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:12,620
The things that bind soul, digitize soul, fine traveled roads for higher contact.

374
00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:13,060
Looks rubbish.

375
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:13,660
Nice design.

376
00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:15,340
It does load quickly over a modem.

377
00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:18,400
No surprises it loads quickly.

378
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,200
It's shite.

379
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,300
It's just a big black page.

380
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:27,660
Is it important before you put up your own site to go scouting around and look at stuff to get an idea of what's out there?

381
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:28,820
Oh, it's extremely important.

382
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:33,720
If you want to build websites, you need to look at the great websites that are out there and learn from them.

383
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,840
There's so much to be learned from looking at the good.

384
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:37,480
Now, the sites you showed us were...

385
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:38,960
Duke Nukem's after you.

386
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:39,820
Pepsi Scroll.

387
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:40,600
Thank you very much.

388
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,880
We're relatively complicated.

389
00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:43,160
I mean, complicated...

390
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,960
Any new games for streaming?

391
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,220
You say, I don't know.

392
00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:53,220
It's just very picky and choosy to the point that it's debilitating and getting in the way of actually streaming, you know?

393
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,480
Need to probably have a reset mindset.

394
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:02,360
Reset the mind frame on it and think, what exactly is it that I want to get from the stream?

395
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,240
Is it to enjoy the game or is it just to do a stream?

396
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:12,000
Because I'm thinking I'm leaning more towards enjoying the game or wanting to play a game that I like, you know?

397
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,060
And that's...

398
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:15,740
There's too much choice out there.

399
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,660
And I'm very, very fucking choosy.

400
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,180
I have a short attention span.

401
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,060
I can't complete things that I set out to complete, you know?

402
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,340
Many times this has happened.

403
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,600
So, I mean, can a normal person who's not a geek do something like that?

404
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:30,880
Oh, yeah.

405
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,020
That's the whole goal we have at Project Cool.

406
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,680
And that we think that anyone can build a great website.

407
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:41,540
And we have tutorials that are non-geek speak where you can come in and in five minutes have built your first webpage using any computer.

408
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:42,040
All right.

409
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,760
So that's the website you run now, which is projectcool.com.

410
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,600
And I can go there and get what?

411
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,480
You've got it up there now.

412
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,200
You can learn to build the web.

413
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,420
You can look at great websites.

414
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,500
You can talk with others who are building the web.

415
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:57,500
You can always remember that people are your own best resource in anything that you do, and especially in building the web.

416
00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:59,000
Projectcool.

417
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,840
Anyone can build a great website.

418
00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:05,200
Projectcool.com.

419
00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:07,920
I think it is 1998.

420
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:09,900
Projectcool.com is...

421
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:12,360
Let's see what we can do there.

422
00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:15,020
Can we get on to fucking Projectcool.com?

423
00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:17,580
Project...

424
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:19,600
Thank you very much, sir.

425
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:20,080
Ivan.

426
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:22,000
Very, very kind of you, Ivan.

427
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,840
We're going to dedicate this projectcool.com to Ivan.

428
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:39,120
A complete collection of resources for WordPress bloggers, freelancers, creators, anyone who wants to learn WordPress.

429
00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:41,680
So it's changed.

430
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,040
It changed through the ages.

431
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,800
Probably sold its...

432
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:50,160
Sold its domain to someone who then just took on the domain.

433
00:20:50,320 --> 00:21:05,000
Or the company diversified its interests going into an increasingly expanding intergalactic web market and decided to focus on WordPress and not just websites, general websites.

434
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,940
Looks shit anyway.

435
00:21:06,940 --> 00:21:07,940
All right.

436
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,560
Thank you very much.

437
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:11,320
All right.

438
00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:17,220
Well, once you've created your website, you want to make sure people can find it among the millions of websites that are out there.

439
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:18,380
Google.

440
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,740
Thank you very much there for the tip, Ivan.

441
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:26,940
To help you through that maze, we went to visit the folks at Yahoo to see what it takes to get listed in their search engine.

442
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,120
This is how it worked back in the day.

443
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:40,260
You had to go and visit the HQ of the search engine based in probably fucking San Francisco or something and visit them and ask for you to be listed on it.

444
00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:45,740
It's like knocking on the door at Google and going, please, Google, can we have some search results?

445
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,680
Look at that ergonomics.

446
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:50,640
Fucking hell.

447
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,320
It's a sensual piece of equipment.

448
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,240
It's a double split QWERTY.

449
00:21:55,840 --> 00:22:00,500
And she's going over for a really bleak beige mouse over there.

450
00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:05,460
I say she, I could be a fella, but the hands do look feministic.

451
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,880
And it's a big time block bone.

452
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,560
Pure block work.

453
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:12,920
You've got the up, down.

454
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,300
You've got the numerical keypad at the end there.

455
00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:17,360
And it's like riding a wave back in the day.

456
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,020
Look at the wave of this keyboard.

457
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,920
The ergonomic fucking reactionary fucking keyboard.

458
00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:26,660
It was reactionary design at the time.

459
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,280
You know, a lot of people had fucking bad reactions to it.

460
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:37,260
And some people said it was the narrowliest fucking experience that you could ever have in an office with your clothes on.

461
00:22:37,860 --> 00:22:47,080
Other people said it was like riding a beige wave into the information superhighway through a big fucking modem pipe.

462
00:22:47,340 --> 00:22:51,940
And other people did actually say at the time it was narrowly.

463
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:58,240
It was like it was like hanging 10 over the end of a narrowly fucking beige curvy surfboard.

464
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,020
And someone did come up with the fucking idea of saying.

465
00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:04,620
Cowabunga dudes.

466
00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:07,300
Let's surfs up.

467
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,460
Let's go and fucking see some pages.

468
00:23:11,460 --> 00:23:14,080
At Yahoo's headquarters in Silicon Valley.

469
00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:18,560
Another situation before we go on there is the Mr. Potato Head.

470
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:19,520
Thanks very much.

471
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,640
You're maz on chats.

472
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:25,640
Now the Mr. Potato Head was a pretty big fixture.

473
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,960
Fixture back in the day.

474
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,040
I'm not sure if it still is now.

475
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,320
Landed a prize spot in the movie Toy Story.

476
00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:39,240
Which elevated its status as a fringe.

477
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,180
What was at the time?

478
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,860
Probably fringe toy.

479
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,740
Into pure AAA mainstream.

480
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:47,600
Toy world.

481
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:47,960
You know.

482
00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:54,080
And spawned a whole generation of different potato spin-offs.

483
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,480
Mrs. Potato Head.

484
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,280
The Potato Lads.

485
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,360
Uncle Potato.

486
00:23:59,140 --> 00:24:00,820
Who was down on his luck actually.

487
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,000
It was an alcoholic spud.

488
00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:03,180
Who'd fermented.

489
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,760
And there was the whole.

490
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,420
There was a potato fucking world.

491
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,600
Surprised there wasn't a movie just of Potato Head.

492
00:24:11,380 --> 00:24:12,320
And Pocky.

493
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,240
Whatever Pocky is.

494
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,940
Probably some kind of stationary thing.

495
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:19,860
And then we've got a wacky Bugs Bunny cup.

496
00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:22,920
Which is used to hold a lot of byros.

497
00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:24,520
It's a crazy working environment.

498
00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:26,680
A great cushy atmosphere I'd imagine.

499
00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:31,540
A team of surfers is at work sifting, sorting and grading websites.

500
00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:35,840
These sites were submitted by people who would like to be added to.

501
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,740
It's a crazy bit of business.

502
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,780
It's a sensual, sensual.

503
00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,940
Bullistic.

504
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:44,560
It's ballistic.

505
00:24:45,220 --> 00:24:47,060
It's got a lot of curvature on it.

506
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,280
It's got, you know, it's got a lot of radioactive waves going.

507
00:24:53,220 --> 00:24:54,160
It's great.

508
00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:55,460
It's nice.

509
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:56,940
It's crucial.

510
00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:00,480
At the same time, it's very demure.

511
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:07,220
And also, let's take a moment to appreciate everything about it.

512
00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:09,240
It's beautiful stuff.

513
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,440
It's serious.

514
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,180
It's business.

515
00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:14,880
It's business class.

516
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,820
But it's also economy as well at the same time.

517
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,420
One of Yahoo's groups.

518
00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:27,000
Personal homepages have their own subcategory under society and culture.

519
00:25:27,620 --> 00:25:31,220
And Yahoo's criteria for inclusion are not too demanding.

520
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,420
So for personal homepages, it's actually a place where we can be even more inclusive.

521
00:25:35,420 --> 00:25:38,640
Srinija Srinivasan's after you.

522
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:39,640
From Yahoo.

523
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,780
Who's to say what's interesting and what's not interesting?

524
00:25:44,140 --> 00:25:44,560
She could.

525
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:49,040
She missed an opportunity to say Yahoo's and who's to say Yahoo's to say it's not interesting.

526
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,760
What's useful and what's useful and what's not useful and where else.

527
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,640
Because who's to say what's interesting and what's not interesting?

528
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,100
What's useful and what's not useful?

529
00:25:55,100 --> 00:26:01,460
And rather than for personal pages, rather than the point being to convey information to someone

530
00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:07,220
else for their own edification, often the point of a personal page is simply for the author to express themselves.

531
00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:16,680
While Yahoo's web reviewers may give more leeway to personal site design, it pays to keep some basic rules in mind regarding appearance and content.

532
00:26:17,260 --> 00:26:18,420
First of all, you've got to have some.

533
00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:21,120
That looks nasty.

534
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,520
That looks like a.

535
00:26:22,740 --> 00:26:23,320
Basic rules in.

536
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,620
Fucking Psy-Up.

537
00:26:25,820 --> 00:26:27,040
CIA Psy-Up.

538
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,100
They're mind controlling the kids with Barney.

539
00:26:31,740 --> 00:26:32,620
Barney images.

540
00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:33,380
Look at the.

541
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:34,780
How busy is that?

542
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,360
Out of balance.

543
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:40,500
Left brain, right brain, gallery, creativity, days in life.

544
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:41,160
What is love?

545
00:26:41,260 --> 00:26:41,960
Life stories.

546
00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:51,600
You know, this is the day before people with no editorial nows were able to get involved in putting out information.

547
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:58,060
And I say that as someone with zero editor who spends a lot of time.

548
00:26:59,060 --> 00:27:07,500
Spent on analyzing small detail in 30 year old episodes of a fucking defunct computer program.

549
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,860
I'm criticizing these people from the future for having no editorial nows.

550
00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,960
And, uh, but look at the fucking state of it, man.

551
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,020
Just, it's depressing to see.

552
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:23,460
If you're new here, I encourage you to look around, visit whatever catches your eye.

553
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,660
I've tried to make this place for exploration.

554
00:27:25,860 --> 00:27:30,900
If you're looking for a little more explanation about each area, try the something guided tour.

555
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:36,500
For a little bit of a site design, it pays to keep some basic rules in mind regarding appearance and content.

556
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,900
First of all, you've got to have some underlying content of substance there.

557
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,140
You've got to have something to say.

558
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:51,900
Um, and then on top of that, a very clear, useful navigational structure so that someone who's never seen this before can come in and get to the stuff and understand what's where.

559
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,740
Yahoo's editor says that reviewers look for innovation and creative design.

560
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:03,360
But as the number of personal web pages grows, it becomes harder to find sites that truly stand out.

561
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:12,280
Still, a simple, organized site is a good way to start, and the content should reveal something about the person behind the page.

562
00:28:12,940 --> 00:28:15,340
Reveal something about yourself. That's really what it's about.

563
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:22,020
Use it as a platform for expressing, um, creating, letting people know something about you that they might not have known otherwise.

564
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:29,780
Um, I think there are a number of reasons that people like to create pages, but there are also a number of reasons that people like to view pages of people they've never met before.

565
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,900
There's sort of this, um, you know, voyeuristic appeal of people watching and just clicking around.

566
00:28:35,220 --> 00:28:39,520
Had it in one, the voyeuristic appeal, it was only a few years until they actually got it.

567
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:46,820
Maybe MySpace was out in 98, I'm not sure, but, uh, this was just before everybody got their own little miniature website.

568
00:28:46,980 --> 00:28:49,500
I suppose, in a way, that's what it was, wasn't it?

569
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,740
Websites, then people go, oh yeah, people want to see other people's websites.

570
00:28:53,020 --> 00:28:58,420
And then someone was like, let's make a site that gives everyone their own fucking website, you know?

571
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:04,400
And, uh, just appeals to them and makes them look glass or whether people just want to show a side of themselves.

572
00:29:04,540 --> 00:29:07,900
We're all interested in showing a side of ourselves, you know?

573
00:29:08,060 --> 00:29:10,960
But we don't want to show the fucking real selves.

574
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,500
So they made those sites tailor-made to those fucking people.

575
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,120
People have to say about themselves.

576
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,580
For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Sarah O'Brien.

577
00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:27,660
Sarah O'Brien.

578
00:29:28,340 --> 00:29:29,520
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

579
00:29:32,340 --> 00:29:33,900
Cham, chapa, chapa, chum.

580
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:35,820
O'Brien!

581
00:29:35,820 --> 00:29:41,040
So let's get down to the basics.

582
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,660
How do you actually start creating your own website?

583
00:29:43,820 --> 00:29:46,840
Most people go out and buy a web design software package.

584
00:29:47,180 --> 00:29:48,920
And we're going to show you one example of a good one.

585
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,900
Page mill 3.0 from Adobe.

586
00:29:51,140 --> 00:29:52,720
Roger, I guess page mill one.

587
00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:53,700
Page mill.

588
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,760
You're going to be milling out the pages day in, day out with this.

589
00:29:56,860 --> 00:29:59,080
And Stu's going to do one of these robot movements.

590
00:29:59,180 --> 00:29:59,560
I love it.

591
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:00,000
Let's see.

592
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,560
Let's see the windup here.

593
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:11,580
He didn't go for the robot.

594
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,660
He went for a standard gesticulation.

595
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:19,680
But I love when he does that kind of, you know, kind of weird kind of sex on the,

596
00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:21,860
something sexual about the web.

597
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,560
Let's have a look at the Web of Darkness clip there for a moment.

598
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,800
Just to see him do some of that kind of weird stuff.

599
00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:27,740
Twisted!

600
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,140
There we go.

601
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:30,700
Right there.

602
00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:32,860
Missed that?

603
00:30:33,020 --> 00:30:33,700
Let's see it again.

604
00:30:33,980 --> 00:30:34,380
Twisted!

605
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,620
Dispatches unwraps the story behind.

606
00:30:40,620 --> 00:30:42,500
People getting undressed, you know, going to the bathroom.

607
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:43,040
Twisted!

608
00:30:44,060 --> 00:30:44,720
Beautiful stuff.

609
00:30:44,740 --> 00:30:47,860
Help just anybody create a web page who didn't know anything about the web or HTML.

610
00:30:48,700 --> 00:30:51,080
Liam Roger Spreen from Adobe.

611
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,480
This is, uh, Spreeny from Adobe.

612
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,740
He knew what he was fucking at back in the day.

613
00:30:57,820 --> 00:30:59,540
And also they went on to make Photoshop.

614
00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:02,480
Photoshop had been invented maybe around 92, 93.

615
00:31:03,740 --> 00:31:14,740
This is just Adobe diversifying their output with an extensive range of new products to really capture the hearts and imagination of the fucking tech narrative of the time.

616
00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:16,620
And the consumer as well.

617
00:31:16,620 --> 00:31:17,920
Okay, here we are at 3.0.

618
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,540
Lots more features in there but still relatively easy to use.

619
00:31:20,540 --> 00:31:20,800
Absolutely.

620
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,420
Stu's loving 3.0.

621
00:31:22,420 --> 00:31:25,840
Let's say I just got home, unwrapped the package, installed the software.

622
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,280
I want to start from the beginning to design my website.

623
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:28,760
What do I do?

624
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,280
Well, the key is to start simple and then work up as you learn more.

625
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:31,900
Get the words in there.

626
00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:32,540
Text is number one.

627
00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:33,040
Okay.

628
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,120
So you can get text from anywhere.

629
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,620
In this case, get the words in.

630
00:31:35,620 --> 00:31:38,520
That's Stu's mantra for computer creditors.

631
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:39,520
I have a word document.

632
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,840
And I can just copy, paste, drag and drop.

633
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,040
So I could have created the text in Word, pull it in.

634
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:43,420
Exactly.

635
00:31:43,420 --> 00:31:44,660
Or even type it straight into PageMill.

636
00:31:44,660 --> 00:31:45,780
I'll just drop it in right here.

637
00:31:45,780 --> 00:31:47,740
And PageMill works just like a word processor.

638
00:31:47,740 --> 00:31:49,600
So I could do the editing inside there and--

639
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:50,320
Exactly.

640
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:51,780
And make the fonts bigger and so forth.

641
00:31:51,780 --> 00:31:53,440
But the real fun is images.

642
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:53,940
Wow.

643
00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:54,940
Because that's what makes it really stand up.

644
00:31:54,940 --> 00:31:55,440
Okay.

645
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,780
You can get images from anywhere.

646
00:31:56,780 --> 00:31:58,040
Use your digital camera.

647
00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,040
Just take them right off your disk.

648
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,740
In this case, we'll actually use our web browser in Explorer to go to a page.

649
00:32:02,740 --> 00:32:03,240
Great.

650
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,740
And we'll take pages right off the web.

651
00:32:04,740 --> 00:32:06,740
Let's borrow some graphics from someplace else.

652
00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:07,240
You bet.

653
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:07,740
All right.

654
00:32:07,740 --> 00:32:14,080
In this case, I'm just going to click on the image right in my web browser and just drag it over and drop it on the little page symbol, which shows me where the background image goes.

655
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,380
Now, how did it know to become a background like that and not just a graphic of a bagel?

656
00:32:17,380 --> 00:32:19,040
Because that's the little page symbol.

657
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:19,540
Very nice.

658
00:32:19,540 --> 00:32:20,540
It goes over the entire page.

659
00:32:20,540 --> 00:32:21,040
Okay.

660
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,040
And it knows to just go underneath the text line?

661
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:23,540
You bet.

662
00:32:23,540 --> 00:32:24,040
All right.

663
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:24,540
Pretty clever.

664
00:32:24,540 --> 00:32:25,540
Hey, you bet.

665
00:32:25,540 --> 00:32:31,240
Stu's all over this like a hot snot and Spreen is really fucking selling page mill big time.

666
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:32,740
I really well, actually.

667
00:32:32,740 --> 00:32:33,740
I'm interested in it.

668
00:32:33,740 --> 00:32:35,240
And I'm in the future.

669
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:39,440
You know, I feel like what he's created is what Adobe have made with page mill.

670
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:47,840
What Adobe did with page mill not only revolutionized the HTML hypertext markup language scene.

671
00:32:47,840 --> 00:33:00,540
But it went on to define an era of internet that has become defunct.

672
00:33:00,540 --> 00:33:03,540
Thank you very much, Tony B for the tip there.

673
00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:10,040
Did you know there was a donation to the Internet Archive by Shafé himself that includes all episodes of CC and Nick Cafe?

674
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:17,840
You know it, Tony B. I knew that. That's why we've always watched these because it's public domain stuff.

675
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,340
They're not going to get taken down.

676
00:33:19,340 --> 00:33:24,000
Unlike a lot of the other old junk that we do fucking watch on there.

677
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,100
I don't know why I'm pointing back towards the green screen there.

678
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:33,240
But we watched a lot of shit in the past and the shows get taken down by YouTube in the end, but not computer chronicles.

679
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,840
It's all public domain, baby.

680
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:44,160
Another thing which is interesting in America or in the world, I think the copyright law is that after 100 years, then everything goes into the public domain.

681
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,220
So there's going to be some movies in the next.

682
00:33:48,220 --> 00:33:54,880
Do you know, if you think about Hollywood, really, if it was 100 years ago now, what's that 20 or 1922?

683
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:59,080
What was out in 1922? Fucking rubbish, like silent films.

684
00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:03,980
Maybe that film about the train going to the station, which made people shit themselves.

685
00:34:03,980 --> 00:34:07,760
Maybe some Buster Keaton stuff.

686
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:15,980
Maybe some, I don't know, just crap that you probably wouldn't even be arse watching on a stream because it just does it.

687
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,460
It lacks, you know, what we've become so used to.

688
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:24,560
Even this is too fucking long form and boring compared to today's TikTok eyes mindset.

689
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,180
But I'm enjoying this area, but it's a shame.

690
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:33,940
It's a damn shame that there's going to be some class stuff that comes out, but it's going to be too late.

691
00:34:33,940 --> 00:34:37,680
Then, you know, in the future, I'd like to be in 50 years time now.

692
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:41,560
Do you know, I'd like to be where I am now, but in 50 years time.

693
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:46,320
So I could be looking at stuff that was coming out in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s or whatever.

694
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:47,260
All for free.

695
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,000
No takedown notices.

696
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:50,620
So that's a damn shame.

697
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,840
That's probably the shittest aspect of modern day life at the moment.

698
00:34:55,160 --> 00:35:01,140
They said we can't watch films from the 70s on YouTube or 80s without us getting a copyright strike.

699
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:08,360
Saying that, in the future, they'll probably already come up with some bullshit way of fucking copyrighting you for eternity.

700
00:35:09,620 --> 00:35:09,940
Do you know?

701
00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:18,060
These franchises like Star Wars and all that sort of stuff, they're probably too big to allow just to slip into the hands of the ordinary folk.

702
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,740
And I can imagine these, these clones have deep pockets.

703
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:23,300
Sorry about the language this time of morning.

704
00:35:23,780 --> 00:35:29,760
These people have deep pockets and their interest is stopping us from having a good time.

705
00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:31,280
That's what I see it as.

706
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:34,020
Thank you very much, Alien 2.0.

707
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:34,740
Thank you very much.

708
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:35,260
Merry Christmas.

709
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:42,100
And they're probably going to fucking come up with a way of putting us in a chokehold again.

710
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:48,300
And I've seen their fucking Twitter or whatever is saying, after all, it's free speech bollocks.

711
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,480
It's cutting off.

712
00:35:49,540 --> 00:35:51,620
You're not allowed to link to other stuff and all that.

713
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:56,720
There won't be long before you're not even allowed to link to stuff from other fucking social medias and all that.

714
00:35:56,780 --> 00:35:58,140
They're all just going to keep in.

715
00:35:58,220 --> 00:36:02,040
But then that'll open up an opportunity for someone to create a social media space.

716
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:07,160
So a new one that is completely free and easy and able to spread links from other sites, you know.

717
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:13,040
But I suppose that they got it.

718
00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:16,300
You get in early and then you get the fucking monopoly of the users.

719
00:36:16,460 --> 00:36:18,480
So the user base is the main thing.

720
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:23,980
It's not that it's, you know, Twitter might be shite and stopping the block and the links.

721
00:36:24,180 --> 00:36:26,220
And it might happen on Facebook as well.

722
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,140
It's the fact that everyone's on there already.

723
00:36:28,140 --> 00:36:34,220
So you'd have to, it's whoever gets in first gets the pot, the big pot of gold.

724
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:36,360
A la YouTube.

725
00:36:37,860 --> 00:36:43,220
Facebook got a big pot of gold, but people are increasingly stopping using that.

726
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,880
So maybe it's not all about getting in early.

727
00:36:47,180 --> 00:36:50,120
But then again, Twitter and Facebook are different concepts in a way.

728
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:55,520
One's like a fucking Bloomberg ticker of information, Twitter.

729
00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:59,900
And then the other one was just like, hi, look at me.

730
00:36:59,980 --> 00:37:01,500
Here's some photos and here's my life.

731
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,400
How do we get to this point where I'm, oh yeah, so copyright and all that sort of stuff.

732
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:17,860
Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath to be honest now about the fucking copyright and being able to watch Star Wars for free in 20 fucking 75 or 20, 2080.

733
00:37:17,860 --> 00:37:18,340
Do you know?

734
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:20,860
Would not hold my breath.

735
00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:26,760
But page mill, what an absolutely unbelievable piece of software technology from the Adobe boys.

736
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,160
The same guys who brought you the Photoshop and the Premiere.

737
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:32,280
Or Premiere.

738
00:37:32,820 --> 00:37:35,320
All right, but that's nice, but I want to do more now, obviously.

739
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:47,000
I mean, you need more than one page to have links.

740
00:37:47,060 --> 00:37:47,280
Right.

741
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,540
So let's create a second page.

742
00:37:48,860 --> 00:37:53,620
And a real common technique this time is to have frames, which includes sort of a table of contents.

743
00:37:53,780 --> 00:37:58,540
So I can do frame content inside page mill without knowing how that works.

744
00:37:58,620 --> 00:37:58,980
You bet.

745
00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:02,500
Just hold the control key down and just drag out an area.

746
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:03,600
And that breaks my page into frames.

747
00:38:03,700 --> 00:38:04,000
You bet.

748
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,880
I'll do one from the top too so we can put like a logo at the top or a family name.

749
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,840
And I can put different things in those different frames.

750
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:09,140
Exactly.

751
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:09,420
Okay.

752
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:10,720
We can actually color them.

753
00:38:10,820 --> 00:38:13,100
For example, let's say I want this table of contents area to be white.

754
00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,800
There's a bit of coke in that can.

755
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,280
And it's gone on the fucking wall now.

756
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,040
And you need to make sure that that is mopped up and that it doesn't stain.

757
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:22,960
Sorry about that.

758
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,460
Try to be cool by throwing it against the wall.

759
00:38:25,980 --> 00:38:27,620
It's actually backfired on me now.

760
00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:42,240
But I have all 216 website colors if you want them.

761
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,680
So that's the background color you're going to put on that particular frame.

762
00:38:44,820 --> 00:38:45,100
Exactly.

763
00:38:45,620 --> 00:38:47,160
And so now let's bring some graphics over to it.

764
00:38:47,340 --> 00:38:48,600
I'll go back to my browser.

765
00:38:49,140 --> 00:38:49,420
Buttons.

766
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:49,760
Okay.

767
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,320
So I'll go back to that same page that happens to have a whole lot of reserve.

768
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,500
Yeah, I'm not a big Star Wars head.

769
00:38:55,500 --> 00:39:00,940
I was just trying to grasp for a fucking random film title as well from that era.

770
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:13,400
I would have easily said Godfather or fucking Star Wars 2.

771
00:39:13,780 --> 00:39:14,780
...buttons on here.

772
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:14,980
Okay.

773
00:39:15,620 --> 00:39:18,160
That page comes with lots of pre-made buttons and graphics.

774
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,060
So I'll just drop some in.

775
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:20,420
I got my little bagel buttons there.

776
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,380
Home, maybe some employment, email.

777
00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:23,520
So it's really drag and drop.

778
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:24,000
Exactly.

779
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,740
And linking is just as easy.

780
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:26,800
All right.

781
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:26,940
Yeah.

782
00:39:26,980 --> 00:39:31,480
So how do I link these two pages so people can go, say, from the word bagel on one page to the background?

783
00:39:31,820 --> 00:39:32,160
Well, here I...

784
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:36,100
We want to go from bagel to background in 60 seconds.

785
00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:37,300
What can you do there?

786
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,460
Just put some more text in here.

787
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,320
Let's say we want to link the word bagel bakery to this other page we just created.

788
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,480
I want to make that a hot link so if somebody clicks on bagel bakery, it'll take them to the other page.

789
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:44,720
Exactly.

790
00:39:45,020 --> 00:39:51,840
Just select that word and then go over and grab that page symbol on the first page and we'll just drag it over and drop it on that word.

791
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:52,840
And now it's linked.

792
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:53,640
That's all there is to it.

793
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:54,160
Wow.

794
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:54,520
Unbelievable.

795
00:39:54,960 --> 00:40:03,520
I mean, you would have had to have really gone to some painstaking odds and ends to be able to hyperlink that fucking bagel bakery little piece that he just did there.

796
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,000
But page mill just...

797
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,740
It just is a cinch.

798
00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:08,680
It really is.

799
00:40:08,820 --> 00:40:10,620
It was a drag and drop scenario.

800
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:13,460
We have bagels in the background.

801
00:40:13,660 --> 00:40:15,420
We have bagel links on the side.

802
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:17,700
It's a bagel paradise.

803
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,440
And you can imagine this bagel website really rocking the fucking bagel world.

804
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:27,600
You know, there would have been a lot of New Yorkers out there because they love the bagels there.

805
00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:37,900
Really visiting, hammering this fucking site every day, checking the latest bagel updates and getting into a bagel...

806
00:40:37,900 --> 00:40:40,820
What would essentially be a bagel state of mind?

807
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:41,700
Do you know?

808
00:40:41,820 --> 00:40:50,580
Before hitting the fucking mean streets of Manhattan or Brooklyn or whatever and really tuck it into some fucking sweet or savoury, should I say, bagel action.

809
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,280
You're talking poppy seed on the top.

810
00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:56,360
You're talking fucking cream cheese, sour cream.

811
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:57,580
You've got lox.

812
00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,220
You've got salmon.

813
00:40:59,820 --> 00:41:01,080
You've got pepper smoke.

814
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,900
You've got all sorts of toppings on those bagels.

815
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,380
Bacon, sour cream, cheese.

816
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:10,660
You've got fucking all sorts of salmon on that shit.

817
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:11,660
So I think it's turned blue.

818
00:41:11,820 --> 00:41:12,100
Exactly.

819
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,200
What about...

820
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,400
Okay, now what about that top frame if I wanted to put some sort of banner headline up there?

821
00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:17,840
Just grab an empty banner.

822
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,660
And we actually come with Photoshop so you can grab empty banners.

823
00:41:20,660 --> 00:41:22,960
And this is Photoshop integration.

824
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,320
The Adobe family with their integrated fucking technologies.

825
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:27,720
You can put your own name in it.

826
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,820
So Photoshop Ellie is bundled with page bill.

827
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,560
Last thing, the little java-apolis people want little banners.

828
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:35,020
Little banners.

829
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,120
Lovely stuff.

830
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,460
It's happening live here, folks.

831
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,420
We're seeing this little stew moment here.

832
00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:42,360
It's beautiful.

833
00:41:42,620 --> 00:41:44,600
Stubert Shafé here.

834
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:45,720
Look at this.

835
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:50,960
It's the physical manifestation of miniature banner,

836
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:52,480
of miniaturization.

837
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,040
And look at the wind up of the shoulders.

838
00:41:56,260 --> 00:41:57,860
And we've often speculated,

839
00:41:58,060 --> 00:42:00,400
was Stu a dramatist?

840
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:01,360
Was he in drama?

841
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:05,820
Was he on stage or screen before he came to Computer Chronicles?

842
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:11,040
Because he can use his body and contort his posture

843
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:15,840
to convey a message that words just simply can't.

844
00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:17,140
And look at this.

845
00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,620
It's beautiful stuff.

846
00:42:20,340 --> 00:42:21,760
Sensational, says Mark.

847
00:42:23,580 --> 00:42:30,760
And a thespian of some sorts, says Niall Flynn.

848
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,640
It's bundled with page mill.

849
00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:35,360
Last thing, the little Java app,

850
00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:38,280
people want little banners calling and that cool stuff.

851
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:39,660
Everyone loves animation on their pages.

852
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:40,580
Here I have an existing...

853
00:42:40,580 --> 00:42:43,300
I like the way he goes happy and then to cool stuff and serious.

854
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:44,380
Otherapolis people want...

855
00:42:44,900 --> 00:42:46,280
Happy little banner, man.

856
00:42:46,580 --> 00:42:47,180
Little banners.

857
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,280
Look at that happy little banner.

858
00:42:49,420 --> 00:42:50,620
Cheeky little banner face.

859
00:42:52,100 --> 00:42:52,740
Steve Bannon.

860
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,960
And then to serious stew face then.

861
00:42:56,500 --> 00:42:57,480
And that cool stuff.

862
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:58,340
Everyone loves animation.

863
00:42:58,740 --> 00:42:59,280
Look at that.

864
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:02,880
Straight into cool...

865
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,460
He says cool stuff and it's like, give me the money now.

866
00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:06,980
I've set you up.

867
00:43:06,980 --> 00:43:08,040
I've asked for the bag.

868
00:43:08,580 --> 00:43:09,880
Now give me the bag.

869
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,420
Those animations on the pages.

870
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,160
Here I have an existing page that has a Java applet on here.

871
00:43:15,300 --> 00:43:16,660
I'm not a Java programmer.

872
00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:17,760
Now where did that come from?

873
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:18,760
It actually comes on the CD.

874
00:43:18,940 --> 00:43:20,400
We come with some standard Java applets.

875
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,720
And I can just, like any other image, just drag and drop it.

876
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:24,020
It's a Java applet.

877
00:43:24,020 --> 00:43:24,600
Into my page.

878
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,900
And now if I want to put my own name into it, I can just show our little inspector, which

879
00:43:28,900 --> 00:43:29,940
lets me get to all the attributes.

880
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:31,300
And now I can just change the text.

881
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:31,540
Yeah.

882
00:43:31,540 --> 00:43:32,080
Put my own name.

883
00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:33,740
And...

884
00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:36,360
And in real time, we've just created a two-page site anyhow.

885
00:43:36,420 --> 00:43:36,740
Exactly.

886
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,260
With links, graphics, frames, the whole bit.

887
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:39,640
You bet.

888
00:43:39,740 --> 00:43:40,400
Thank you very much.

889
00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:40,860
You bet.

890
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:41,200
All right.

891
00:43:41,260 --> 00:43:46,100
Well, it's nice to have the text and the graphics all in place on your new personal website.

892
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:48,340
But if you really want to be cool, you need...

893
00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:55,540
When you think about chat topics on the web, you don't tend to think about the hip-hop community.

894
00:43:56,540 --> 00:43:59,860
The text and the graphics all in place on your new personal website.

895
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,600
But if you really want to be cool, you need some multimedia.

896
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,700
So let's see how complicated it is to add streaming audio to your website.

897
00:44:06,820 --> 00:44:07,140
Wow.

898
00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:08,040
Big, big shit.

899
00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:11,380
Back in the day, low bit rate, big crushed audio.

900
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:12,540
Please be as well.

901
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,280
Don't understand your drugs.

902
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:23,100
You can now stream your favorite music online in real time.

903
00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:24,820
Real player.

904
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:31,960
Download your real player today to get your audio streaming life off to a great start.

905
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:32,940
Not real complicated.

906
00:44:33,460 --> 00:44:35,860
With this emblaze.audio you've got now.

907
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:36,420
That's right.

908
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,060
It sounds like it would be complicated.

909
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,100
I mean, it's complicated just to listen to audio on a website.

910
00:44:40,100 --> 00:44:41,800
Check out the backdrop there.

911
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,300
What have we got going on here?

912
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,760
We've got a thing called Z.

913
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:52,180
It looks like a robot with a kind of American man's hat.

914
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:56,280
Kind of a Yoshi Mitsu kind of fella.

915
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:01,680
Maybe he has a Tommy gun or he's got some kind of Oracle in his hands.

916
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,440
It looks like it could be cat.

917
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,840
I don't know what that is there.

918
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:12,860
Probably some kind of Three Musketeers game or something.

919
00:45:12,860 --> 00:45:13,900
Looks bananas.

920
00:45:13,900 --> 00:45:17,460
Steel Team, a game called

921
00:45:17,460 --> 00:45:20,140
Steel Team. Could be Bananas.

922
00:45:20,140 --> 00:45:24,420
Don't know what that is there. A few chat topics

923
00:45:24,420 --> 00:45:26,500
up above. We've got Progen.

924
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:31,500
Progenators. I thought this was the game

925
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:35,180
Pandemonium for the PlayStation and maybe it was a PC version

926
00:45:35,180 --> 00:45:37,880
but it's not. This kind of

927
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:42,140
Peter Pan-esque figure at the side here. I'm going to take a

928
00:45:42,140 --> 00:45:45,600
guess on that as saying Brainbox

929
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:49,260
but there's nothing to suggest a kind of intellectual based

930
00:45:49,260 --> 00:45:52,080
puzzler or you know educative

931
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:55,260
piece of software. Looks like it's a game

932
00:45:55,260 --> 00:45:58,160
and then what's that? A window or something?

933
00:45:59,140 --> 00:46:02,200
We'll never know guys because the resolution just is not

934
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:02,780
good enough.

935
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,960
I know mate. I don't know.

936
00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:10,420
Paceman. That's us. That's me.

937
00:46:11,380 --> 00:46:13,940
What we've got there is probably a game called

938
00:46:13,940 --> 00:46:14,840
Spaceman

939
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,660
but it's cropped at the side and all you've got is

940
00:46:18,660 --> 00:46:22,560
Paceman. I'm just going to put myself in there into the mix

941
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,120
so I can have that above my head in the screen here.

942
00:46:30,900 --> 00:46:36,760
Paceman. I always wanted you to stream at Paceman.

943
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,320
Paceman. I'm going to be talking really fast.

944
00:46:39,320 --> 00:47:02,040
Paceman. It sounds like it would be complicated. I mean it's complicated just to listen to audio on a website. You're saying I can just put it up on my site really easily. Yeah it's as simple as compressing any existing audio file and then putting it on your website. We got Jay Lucas here from Jail. website and now anybody with a Java supported browser comes into your website and hears audio instantaneously. We got Jay Lucas here everybody.

945
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:18,960
Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas from Jail. It's as simple as compressing any existing audio file.

946
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:25,120
New Leonel 1992 up early there. Can't sleep? I've been up since six man.

947
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:31,920
Putting it on your website and now anybody with a Java supported browser comes into your website and hears audio instantaneously.

948
00:47:32,020 --> 00:47:34,660
Alright this is the personal website you created for your son.

949
00:47:34,820 --> 00:47:35,160
That's right.

950
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:36,260
So this is real stuff.

951
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,240
You got a son.

952
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:44,220
Right now it doesn't have any audio on it but we want to say okay let's have some background music so when people come to the site it's more fun.

953
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:48,100
Sure it's a very simple process. We open up the Emblaze audio interface.

954
00:47:48,100 --> 00:48:03,060
Going to get fucking blazed with Stu here and he's utilizing a real fucking heavy duty laptop computer but he's going out from that maybe into a VGA cable scenario. Plugging into an external Mon.

955
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:07,680
It's two buttons so it can't get much easier. First button is open.

956
00:48:07,940 --> 00:48:09,760
Go find the WAV file that you're going to use.

957
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:19,660
Alright we have some samples here. WAV files we're going to use the music and now we hit the other button which is compress and we're saving it now with the Java class.

958
00:48:19,700 --> 00:48:27,540
Any update on the don't be cheeky situation Sean I wish I could update you with some great news about that but look I can't. I really can't.

959
00:48:27,540 --> 00:48:38,920
And that is going to follow me for a long time because I put it out there and it's just out there now that it's existing and I have to get up off my arse.

960
00:48:39,860 --> 00:48:45,820
Travel to another house and then go up into the attic. Doesn't have a styro. Doesn't have a ladder.

961
00:48:45,820 --> 00:48:55,580
I have to fucking do a bit of climbing. Acrobatics. Getting up there. And then I have to route through the boxes to find the fucking thing.

962
00:48:55,680 --> 00:49:03,520
Then I have to get the tape. The DV. Mini DV player. Which is an old camcorder. Hook that up via Firewire.

963
00:49:04,580 --> 00:49:05,720
1395 cable.

964
00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:23,460
Plug that into a new computer that doesn't have the input output. So then I have to find the yoke that changes Firewire into USB.

965
00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:29,900
You know it's basically a lot of laziness. Thank you very much Hitman3Fund.

966
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,300
Interesting you should say Hitman3. I've seen that on the Game Pass.

967
00:49:35,340 --> 00:49:38,840
Howie Francis Tom. You've been visited by Hitman3FundFairy.

968
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,220
May the stereophonics be with you this holiday season. Thanks very much for that there.

969
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,720
That might actually be an option that could be looked into very very soon.

970
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,920
Because that's the secret to how you...

971
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:52,840
So we're compressing the sound file so it's small enough so it can real quickly move down the line.

972
00:49:52,840 --> 00:50:00,240
Right. Now when we say save it's compressing the file and creating not only a compressed audio file but also the HTML for you.

973
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:01,240
It does that for you.

974
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:01,800
Unbelievable.

975
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:02,900
So now it's completed.

976
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:03,720
Unbelievable.

977
00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:04,620
How much compression are we doing here?

978
00:50:05,060 --> 00:50:16,780
So it is Monty Python there at the top, at the back. There's a Monty Python scenario and then there's another Monty Python scenario. It's the Holy Grail there. Still no idea what that is there. Don't care.

979
00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:18,400
So now it's completed.

980
00:50:18,820 --> 00:50:21,160
Now how much compression are we doing here? This goes from what to what?

981
00:50:21,260 --> 00:50:27,300
Right. We'll show you right here. We have the original sample file. It was a whopping 2.5 megs or so.

982
00:50:27,380 --> 00:50:31,180
Right. And now we see the compressed file. Music is 50K.

983
00:50:31,180 --> 00:50:32,340
Wow. So that's pretty dramatic.

984
00:50:32,340 --> 00:50:33,140
Is it going to sound okay?

985
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:33,600
Yeah.

986
00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:35,080
Can we take a look and see how this works?

987
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:35,280
Yeah.

988
00:50:35,380 --> 00:50:37,560
How do I actually get the file now into my homepage?

989
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:43,200
Well, you need to drop the HTML file that we created when we compressed the audio.

990
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:44,180
Okay. So that code was automatic.

991
00:50:44,180 --> 00:50:57,540
Sorry. They've lost me here. This got really boring really fast. I'm not going to play the whole thing. I just need to get a fucking gist of it. So what's he doing here? He's recording into it. Do you record into this thing?

992
00:50:57,820 --> 00:50:58,780
First button is open.

993
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:00,700
Go find the WAV file that you're going to use.

994
00:51:00,820 --> 00:51:02,140
Right. You find the WAV file.

995
00:51:02,140 --> 00:51:06,260
All right. The secret to now, but also the HTML for you.

996
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:06,700
Oh.

997
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:11,720
And creating not only a compressed audio file, but also the HTML.

998
00:51:11,900 --> 00:51:18,660
All right. So then it converts it into compressed audio. That's why it's all shit when you hear it on the Internet. But this computer program here.

999
00:51:20,540 --> 00:51:27,580
Codes it. Codifies it as well. So you don't have to go fucking wasting time typing HTML text up.

1000
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:34,820
And I remember being taught HTML years even after this, you know, an obsolete scenario.

1001
00:51:34,820 --> 00:51:37,640
In community college.

1002
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:44,660
When there were programs out there then at the very time, Dreamweaver and such, which you base, you can build a website on.

1003
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:49,060
But we still had to finish a module that included HTML.

1004
00:51:49,740 --> 00:51:50,600
And it just.

1005
00:51:51,740 --> 00:51:58,540
The technology is changing so fast that even stuff that you probably learn in college now is not going to be of any use to you in a few years time.

1006
00:51:58,600 --> 00:51:59,620
It is 50K.

1007
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:00,740
So that's pretty dramatic.

1008
00:52:00,740 --> 00:52:01,460
Is it going to sound okay?

1009
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,060
From a technical standpoint.

1010
00:52:03,540 --> 00:52:03,940
Yeah.

1011
00:52:04,100 --> 00:52:05,460
Can we take a look and see how this works?

1012
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:05,680
Yeah.

1013
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,940
Now how do I actually get the file now into my homepage?

1014
00:52:08,340 --> 00:52:13,580
Well, you need to drop the HTML file that we created when we compressed the audio.

1015
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,780
So that code was automatically created by the software.

1016
00:52:15,900 --> 00:52:16,320
We created it.

1017
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,240
I'm going to code.

1018
00:52:17,820 --> 00:52:19,500
We got an applet right there.

1019
00:52:19,580 --> 00:52:22,080
We got the HTML head title.

1020
00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:26,160
We got emblaze audio player and title.

1021
00:52:26,780 --> 00:52:27,740
Head, body.

1022
00:52:27,740 --> 00:52:30,160
So I had to write up all these little things.

1023
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,820
Whereas this program just does it for you.

1024
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:34,820
And there's a range of programs that did it for you.

1025
00:52:36,140 --> 00:52:37,940
This is a little Java applet.

1026
00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:43,580
I now have to do a little cut and paste inside my original code.

1027
00:52:43,580 --> 00:52:43,740
Right.

1028
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:45,720
And you could use page mill or anything else.

1029
00:52:45,780 --> 00:52:48,740
But we're just going to, for simplicity, we're going to copy that.

1030
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:55,940
And now we're going to just drop in our regular page and press paste.

1031
00:52:56,420 --> 00:52:57,540
And we save that out.

1032
00:52:58,260 --> 00:52:59,820
And now when we come back to our page.

1033
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,500
Eastern James Lucas.

1034
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:02,680
There, everybody.

1035
00:53:05,380 --> 00:53:07,300
A fantastic child.

1036
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:09,040
We now have audio.

1037
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:09,960
We have a little button down there.

1038
00:53:10,500 --> 00:53:11,440
Now we can hear it.

1039
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:12,240
Background music.

1040
00:53:12,660 --> 00:53:13,700
You just do that in our time.

1041
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,480
A great kid, everybody.

1042
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,120
Spent the last nine months in training.

1043
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,120
He's got coaches, Kirsten and Jay.

1044
00:53:24,940 --> 00:53:25,860
Sample babble.

1045
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,080
Let you hear my entire vocabulary.

1046
00:53:28,660 --> 00:53:31,740
If you can't understand this, you've had too many children.

1047
00:53:32,740 --> 00:53:33,780
Yeah, that's pretty quick.

1048
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:34,780
Let me ask you the next thing.

1049
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:36,840
I think you have a little sample babble that says there.

1050
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,080
I mean, normally you want to get the kid's voice up there.

1051
00:53:39,100 --> 00:53:42,460
So the grandparents back east can log on to your website and listen to the kid.

1052
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:43,120
How do you do that?

1053
00:53:44,780 --> 00:53:46,140
Grandparents listen to the kid.

1054
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,020
That was a link that we created.

1055
00:53:48,340 --> 00:53:48,840
And now we have.

1056
00:53:48,900 --> 00:53:49,560
We need to get.

1057
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,840
We need to be allowed to let the grandparents listen to the kid.

1058
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,500
The grandparents want to listen to the kid right now.

1059
00:53:55,580 --> 00:53:56,780
How do we codify that?

1060
00:53:56,780 --> 00:53:58,920
How do we compress audio with the kid?

1061
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,040
And what's more?

1062
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,500
Can the grandparents work their way around a computer?

1063
00:54:03,660 --> 00:54:06,520
There's no point in doing all this work.

1064
00:54:06,820 --> 00:54:12,180
If you know, granddad or grandma can't log on and use a browser.

1065
00:54:13,180 --> 00:54:13,380
Yeah.

1066
00:54:13,740 --> 00:54:14,100
Okay.

1067
00:54:14,220 --> 00:54:14,920
So that came off.

1068
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:15,460
What?

1069
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:18,960
That was a link that we created.

1070
00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:19,760
And now we have.

1071
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:20,180
Yeah.

1072
00:54:21,060 --> 00:54:21,500
Okay.

1073
00:54:21,620 --> 00:54:22,300
So that came off.

1074
00:54:22,380 --> 00:54:23,980
A little babble hot link that was on your.

1075
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:25,700
And now we have.

1076
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:27,620
Silent Hill.

1077
00:54:27,980 --> 00:54:28,860
And listen to the kid.

1078
00:54:29,020 --> 00:54:29,180
How do you.

1079
00:54:30,380 --> 00:54:31,500
Listen to the kid.

1080
00:54:31,620 --> 00:54:34,900
You want to get the kid's voice up there so the grandparents back east can log on to your

1081
00:54:34,900 --> 00:54:35,240
website.

1082
00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:36,360
And listen to the kid.

1083
00:54:36,460 --> 00:54:37,000
How do you do that?

1084
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:37,900
So we just.

1085
00:54:38,020 --> 00:54:39,560
That was a link that we created.

1086
00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:40,380
And now we have.

1087
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:42,120
Okay.

1088
00:54:42,260 --> 00:54:42,940
So that came off.

1089
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,900
A little babble hot link that was on your homepage.

1090
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:46,300
Now how do you get.

1091
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:51,680
And deck says he sounds 40.

1092
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:56,500
And Antonio Prola says he sounds ill.

1093
00:54:56,500 --> 00:54:57,500
Windows.

1094
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:25,400
I'm a Windows kind of guy.

1095
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:33,400
what's this game here look crazy fight is it you fucking get crazy fight man for for dos savage

1096
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:40,280
did you ever play crazy fight for win 95 but just record on any uh sound recorder which comes so

1097
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:48,600
people may not know but if you got a window ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma those pc you've got a sound

1098
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:52,120
recorder built in there and you can just record those little samples and put them in there very

1099
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:55,640
simple process all right now you showed something that look kind of complicated which was cutting and

1100
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,800
pasting the html code you say you don't have to really do all that if you're inside say a page

1101
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:04,200
multi-time environment you're using an editor an html editor you can just drag and drop that applet

1102
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:10,600
right into your you don't tend to think about the html community page and then it's finished what's the

1103
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:14,680
trick j why is it so easy to do this and it seems like audio is so complicated when you go onto a

1104
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:19,240
website you have to pull down the players and do you have the right place bit of a slip up from stew

1105
00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:23,800
there trick j like the way you said what's the trick j and i when he said that i thought that was

1106
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:31,800
one word trick j and also a bit of a slip and stew looks over to us just to let us know that he knows

1107
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:35,960
that we know that there was something going on there i don't know if you you missed that or you

1108
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,720
seen that let's have a look it seems like audio is so complicated when you go onto a website you have to

1109
00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:46,920
pull down the book and then he knows he said he said a little bit of a a fuck up there thank you

1110
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:52,440
very much everything hip hop very very kindy how she couldn't couldn't very fucking finally at the moment

1111
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:58,280
look watch this stew does he look is that the look he gives i think he looks over again

1112
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:08,360
no that was the glance that was what he gave us that was the the bone he threw us to let us know

1113
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:17,240
that he knows that we know there right there and i don't have the audio file ready to rock for that

1114
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:20,280
little moment there it's a shame it's a shame but now we do

1115
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:28,920
just drag and drop that applet right into your page and then it's finished what's the trick j why

1116
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:32,920
is it so easy to do this and it seems like audio is so complicated when you go onto a website you have

1117
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:36,760
to pull down the players and do you have the right player and so and so forth well it's a combination

1118
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:42,680
of compression algorithms that we've developed and java technology that lets us uh java everybody audio

1119
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:46,920
for the masses all right so again doesn't matter what's going on at the server doesn't matter what's

1120
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,920
going on at the client end on my website i can just stick in the audio like this all you would need

1121
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:55,720
to do from here is just copy all of those files in the player folder onto your web server and you're

1122
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:59,640
finished it's a it's a very simple process all right thank you very much all right well if you're

1123
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:04,680
designing our website for an organization you want to make sure your site is accessible to the largest

1124
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:12,120
number of people that means following some basic guidelines and design standards to help standards for

1125
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:17,960
people that means following some basic guidelines and design standards to help you in this basic

1126
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:24,120
guidelines and design standards standards basic guidelines and design standards to help you in

1127
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:29,720
this test wonder if we can really just slow the standards down a little bit that means following some

1128
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,320
basic guidelines and designs

1129
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:57,640
standards standards just to get the tone of it and back again for a normal speed to help you in this task

1130
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:06,440
we visited one web designer who has set the standard for accessibility in web pages standard setting design visibility

1131
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:15,480
in the physical world they are increasingly common on sidewalks physical doorways ramps the simple

1132
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:22,520
so glad she said ramps there fucking hell pages i thought we'd gone back to a dodgy era

1133
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:32,280
in the physical world they are increasingly common on sidewalks and in doorways ramps the simple inclines

1134
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:39,960
that mean access to a disabled traveler but to persons with hearing or sight problems entry barriers also

1135
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:48,840
exist on the internet today check out that special device she's got there it's very you can mini sensual ball

1136
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:53,800
there it's a it's a rolodex it's an upside down mouse ball also exists

1137
00:59:53,800 --> 01:00:03,560
Big, big functionality, real-time ergonomics, and superb 360-degree rotation.

1138
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:05,280
...on the Internet.

1139
01:00:05,860 --> 01:00:09,220
And you can sensually tease that ball all day long.

1140
01:00:09,420 --> 01:00:11,060
It's not going to wear you down at all.

1141
01:00:11,140 --> 01:00:15,340
Today, it is relatively simple to make websites accessible to everyone.

1142
01:00:16,220 --> 01:00:17,800
The city of San Jose, California...

1143
01:00:18,540 --> 01:00:19,260
Trackball.

1144
01:00:19,260 --> 01:00:24,340
...decided to do just that, by adding electronic ramps to their website.

1145
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:30,860
And as I looked at this issue, I began to see that out there on the net, there were resources for universal design.

1146
01:00:31,820 --> 01:00:33,200
Accessibility options.

1147
01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:41,240
And that by developing web disability access standards, I would have a, based on universal design,

1148
01:00:41,780 --> 01:00:47,360
people with disabilities would have access to our website and not be locked out.

1149
01:00:47,940 --> 01:00:52,440
Altering a page to make it accessible is neither expensive nor complicated.

1150
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,660
It's a matter of good design and common sense.

1151
01:00:55,660 --> 01:00:56,880
Wow, that's great design.

1152
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:57,440
...sense.

1153
01:00:58,060 --> 01:00:59,980
There is even a diagnostic...

1154
01:00:59,980 --> 01:01:01,100
Traditional Bobby.

1155
01:01:01,580 --> 01:01:08,420
...site on the Internet called Bobby, after the English constable, that will evaluate your newly accessible website.

1156
01:01:08,940 --> 01:01:11,440
If people are doing a website...

1157
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:13,780
We've got Randy Temez here.

1158
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:15,020
He's an Internet user.

1159
01:01:15,020 --> 01:01:20,280
...at home and putting up pictures of their family or their particular products.

1160
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:24,400
Include some description about what that picture is.

1161
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,540
If it's a picture of my family and dog.

1162
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:36,280
It's a Randy Temez scenario with an ear stud, a golden ear stud, and a finely coiffed thatch.

1163
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:41,600
Give some kind of verbal written text description of what that is.

1164
01:01:42,100 --> 01:01:48,040
If you're going to be creating your own website, try to ensure that it's not just a pretty graphical picture,

1165
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,040
because a lot of people can't access that.

1166
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:50,780
...airboard.

1167
01:01:51,340 --> 01:01:52,380
...apostrophe s.

1168
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:53,520
...apostrophe s.

1169
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:54,460
...apostrophe s.

1170
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:55,420
...conventions commas.

1171
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:56,200
Thank God.

1172
01:01:56,420 --> 01:02:01,140
What an insult that fucking voice Stephen Hawking's voice box was at the time.

1173
01:02:01,220 --> 01:02:06,420
Now we've progressed to a fucking more natural sort of, what have you called it?

1174
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,080
Siri and all that kind of stuff.

1175
01:02:08,580 --> 01:02:13,100
Actually saying that, those fucking TikToks that you see of people and they've put a voice over,

1176
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:13,700
and it's the same.

1177
01:02:14,460 --> 01:02:17,420
The Computer Chronicles creating own website.

1178
01:02:17,420 --> 01:02:22,600
I can't believe that I ate all these burgers in one go.

1179
01:02:24,220 --> 01:02:25,660
L-M-A-O.

1180
01:02:26,180 --> 01:02:29,820
Why have the, the app is so rich?

1181
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:33,940
Do you know they've got so many users and so much money, presumably, TikTok.

1182
01:02:34,940 --> 01:02:40,020
They can invest in a better voice over than that fucking annoying voice that they have.

1183
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,180
Randy uses a screen reader called Deck Talk.

1184
01:02:43,180 --> 01:02:49,640
With software, the device can read text, open menus, and find hypertext links.

1185
01:02:49,980 --> 01:02:55,360
But there are some things it cannot do, such as describe images that lack descriptions.

1186
01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:00,500
It is one example of how even personal homepages can become accessible.

1187
01:03:00,980 --> 01:03:03,760
Think about your eyes being busy and not being able to see the screen.

1188
01:03:03,860 --> 01:03:04,420
What would you do?

1189
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,780
Think about if you are printing up a...

1190
01:03:07,780 --> 01:03:10,420
I know I don't have TikTok, but you see it everywhere.

1191
01:03:10,540 --> 01:03:12,660
Never downloaded TikTok, never will, says Sean.

1192
01:03:13,780 --> 01:03:14,180
Understood.

1193
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:21,320
But we can't escape it now, because you get people recording the TikToks and then they even appear on fucking YouTube, you know?

1194
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,880
You're watching TikTok videos on YouTube in this shit fucking format.

1195
01:03:25,620 --> 01:03:28,480
When we've, we've gone backwards, you know?

1196
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:34,600
We've gone, we're filming videos just to suit the fact that we, we view a phone on a, it should only be on a phone.

1197
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,940
You shouldn't see it on a 16.9 screen, you know?

1198
01:03:39,820 --> 01:03:40,620
Disgusting stuff.

1199
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,140
I think they have to rethink the phone.

1200
01:03:43,480 --> 01:04:00,380
The phone technology or the camera in the phones needs to be reconstructed or they need to strip it down and come back with a better piece of technology that even if you record it in portrait, you still get a landscape video should you need it, you know?

1201
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:05,840
If they can make 3D cameras, then they can surely fucking make something like that.

1202
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:12,860
But at the same time, it's probably doubling, you're probably doubling the amount of data that you're putting on your phone.

1203
01:04:12,940 --> 01:04:21,020
But saying that, I'd still rather watch a proxy media replica of the video you're filming in portrait.

1204
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:28,200
You know, a proxy landscape replica of the portrait video than I would them watching the portrait.

1205
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:29,280
Saying that though, would you?

1206
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:32,600
You probably, you'd miss the definition.

1207
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:35,400
Unless, unless it's really important, you know?

1208
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,440
It's fucking annoying, like.

1209
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:41,500
It's annoying and nobody's, nobody's making a stand against this stuff.

1210
01:04:42,620 --> 01:04:47,280
We're all just, it's like people just buying it all up and going along with the program.

1211
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:49,400
A video clip, an audio.

1212
01:04:49,940 --> 01:04:52,240
And think about what if, what if you can't hear that?

1213
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:54,140
Thank you very much there, Big Red.

1214
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:57,600
Thanks for helping me get through this Monday morning hangover.

1215
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:00,080
You're on the pace last night, you were.

1216
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:02,760
I wasn't.

1217
01:05:03,060 --> 01:05:05,260
That's why I'm streaming now at this fucking shit hour.

1218
01:05:05,340 --> 01:05:06,720
...optioning for that.

1219
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:16,800
If you are going to have hyperlinks, of course, please don't put them in images unless you have descriptions as to what that link is.

1220
01:05:17,060 --> 01:05:23,120
Making a personal homepage available to everyone may not be the first thing most web users think of.

1221
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,400
But a small change can mean a great deal to some web surfers.

1222
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:27,720
Yeah.

1223
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:29,460
What it means to me is when...

1224
01:05:29,460 --> 01:05:33,620
Alright, alright, alright, alright, okay.

1225
01:05:40,580 --> 01:05:41,900
Shabba-dabba-boom.

1226
01:05:47,020 --> 01:05:47,860
Just...

1227
01:05:47,860 --> 01:05:52,980
Look at that, that was a sensual point from the floor manager to stew.

1228
01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,600
Just such auteurs.

1229
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,840
Pure fucking auteurs.

1230
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:02,400
There's a little look back to the camera there from the stew pot.

1231
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,080
And we're at 60 hertz.

1232
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:06,580
Yeah, look at that.

1233
01:06:07,580 --> 01:06:09,740
Crazy fucking crash zoom out.

1234
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:13,580
Crazy world we're living in here.

1235
01:06:13,580 --> 01:06:15,760
Back out there.

1236
01:06:16,420 --> 01:06:18,800
Back out to floor manager.

1237
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,420
Wide shot of the studio.

1238
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,500
Floor manager foreground.

1239
01:06:24,060 --> 01:06:24,900
Pointing at stew.

1240
01:06:24,900 --> 01:06:32,640
Beautiful stuff.

1241
01:06:32,860 --> 01:06:33,920
Thank you very much, sir.

1242
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:35,240
Paddy Conway.

1243
01:06:35,500 --> 01:06:36,200
How are you, Francis?

1244
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:37,760
Do you still have your old vine saved?

1245
01:06:38,140 --> 01:06:40,100
Just when you mentioned TikTok.

1246
01:06:40,520 --> 01:06:44,180
I don't have them saved, but I do have them somewhere.

1247
01:06:44,180 --> 01:06:54,060
And it's a fucking don't be cheeky scenario again where it's in a box probably in the attic with the fucking mini DV tapes, you know.

1248
01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:59,880
And I'm very against, even though that you could save stuff online now and buy lots of space online.

1249
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:03,960
Which is probably a good idea to do, you know, to back up all your old content.

1250
01:07:04,860 --> 01:07:05,220
Content.

1251
01:07:05,620 --> 01:07:11,200
I think it's, I'd still like to have it in a safe box space in case it gets wiped off the net.

1252
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:17,700
But then I think, what if there was a fire in the house or they got damaged in like a disaster or something and wouldn't have them then.

1253
01:07:17,860 --> 01:07:18,940
So I don't know.

1254
01:07:18,980 --> 01:07:20,220
At the end of the day, it's pure laziness.

1255
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:24,240
And then at the end of that day, I think, what about people a hundred years ago?

1256
01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:28,560
They didn't even have any of this stuff, you know, and they didn't even worry about losing it, you know.

1257
01:07:29,060 --> 01:07:32,260
They just lived by the seat of their pants day to day.

1258
01:07:32,620 --> 01:07:38,060
And the people around them, the close community that they had around them was their world.

1259
01:07:38,380 --> 01:07:43,160
And even though that might have nowadays, we go, oh, you shouldn't be shaped.

1260
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:50,320
You know, you should step out of your boundaries and become yourself, individualized, self-actualized and live your own life and all that.

1261
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:57,980
And realize there's a world out there and do your own thing and don't be held back by those who are in your immediate circle, who, if they are, you know, you might not know.

1262
01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:01,480
It could be internalized repression of your own ambition.

1263
01:08:02,180 --> 01:08:14,640
But there could be a lot to be said or maybe there is a lot to be said about it because you could, you could be free of the endless opportunity that we, you have now, seemingly have now.

1264
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:17,360
It's like you've endless opportunity to go and do stuff.

1265
01:08:17,460 --> 01:08:20,280
You've an endless opportunity to analyze what could be wrong.

1266
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:25,680
There's a lot of ways in which you can, you know, look at yourself and change.

1267
01:08:25,780 --> 01:08:33,240
And it could be, you could be seeing therapists, you could be fucking medicating, you could be out fucking liberating, gyrating, all that kind of jazz.

1268
01:08:33,660 --> 01:08:40,220
But maybe being stuck in a little fucking bubble could have been good for you as well at the same time.

1269
01:08:40,220 --> 01:08:50,640
Saying that, the, the, what is the, the expected age of people has gone up, but that's just probably evolution and we've got easier access to food.

1270
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:59,620
We don't fucking labor in, in, you know, smoky factories and all that kind of stuff, you know?

1271
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:03,360
So, um, don't even know what I'm talking about now.

1272
01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:04,040
Just keep going.

1273
01:09:04,260 --> 01:09:06,540
Thanks very much for the tip there, Plissken.

1274
01:09:06,780 --> 01:09:09,100
The comb over and die are fooling no one.

1275
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:09,860
What are you on about, man?

1276
01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:11,360
What are you on about, man?

1277
01:09:11,420 --> 01:09:13,520
Website always means having to make a decision.

1278
01:09:14,060 --> 01:09:15,920
Wake and Shafé like a wake and bake.

1279
01:09:16,060 --> 01:09:17,720
Stuart Shafé, Computer Chronicles.

1280
01:09:19,220 --> 01:09:28,440
Designing an attractive website always means having to make a decision between a site that looks good and is full of cool graphics or a site that's lean and simple but loads fast.

1281
01:09:28,700 --> 01:09:31,920
However, there's now a technology that lets you have the best of both worlds.

1282
01:09:31,980 --> 01:09:35,340
And I guess, Dave, that's the idea behind Intel's Quick Web technology.

1283
01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:36,320
What does it actually do?

1284
01:09:36,740 --> 01:09:39,100
Well, Stuart, Quick Web, another tight little word.

1285
01:09:39,460 --> 01:09:41,820
And this guy's fucking dual wielding.

1286
01:09:41,860 --> 01:09:43,640
He's got Akimbo laptops.

1287
01:09:44,340 --> 01:09:45,980
You'd need two laps for those bios.

1288
01:09:46,940 --> 01:10:01,480
And if he didn't have one of these tiered, lovely, custom Computer Chronicles tiered desk outliers, I call them, juts, then he'd be fucking Akimbo-izing those on two laps, on two legs.

1289
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:06,660
He'd have that on the left thigh, pumping away with the left hand, and he'd be rat-

1290
01:10:06,660 --> 01:10:09,160
I don't know what I was going to say there.

1291
01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:11,320
He'd be rattling that right one on the right leg.

1292
01:10:12,380 --> 01:10:16,860
He'd be ratifying it or he'd be rasterizing it with his fucking right hand.

1293
01:10:16,860 --> 01:10:19,600
Just really rasterizing that right one.

1294
01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:24,160
And he'd absolutely be fucking hammering the keyboard on that.

1295
01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:24,940
And look at that.

1296
01:10:25,300 --> 01:10:27,060
What are you putting in there?

1297
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:31,360
What are you putting inside that machine that's so fucking thick and dense?

1298
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:32,360
It'd be so heavy.

1299
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:33,880
Anyway.

1300
01:10:33,940 --> 01:10:35,760
Stuart, there's essentially two key pieces to it.

1301
01:10:35,820 --> 01:10:36,540
One is compression.

1302
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:38,060
We've got Dave Preston here.

1303
01:10:38,300 --> 01:10:39,200
Squeeze the extra.

1304
01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:43,660
We didn't get the fucking response we wanted there.

1305
01:10:43,780 --> 01:10:44,740
Dave Preston, everybody.

1306
01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:54,500
Go on, Dave.

1307
01:10:56,100 --> 01:10:57,000
Go on, Dave.

1308
01:10:59,260 --> 01:11:19,680
He's a great communicator.

1309
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:20,440
Look at the hands.

1310
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:21,180
Look at the gestures.

1311
01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:22,220
Look at the body language.

1312
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,080
There was a little touch of the nose there.

1313
01:11:24,140 --> 01:11:25,400
A bit of fucking tic-tac.

1314
01:11:25,620 --> 01:11:26,740
Nine to four business.

1315
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,220
The Intel server out there at the ISP.

1316
01:11:28,340 --> 01:11:28,880
See that?

1317
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:29,840
Nine to four look.

1318
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:34,220
That's a bit of a fucking dodgy one right there.

1319
01:11:34,300 --> 01:11:35,100
It's the Bosnich.

1320
01:11:35,460 --> 01:11:38,000
We call that move the fucking Bosnich, man.

1321
01:11:39,180 --> 01:11:43,880
Don't be doing that, man, when you're fucking playing against Premier League teams who have,

1322
01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:44,420
you know.

1323
01:11:46,420 --> 01:11:48,880
Anybody else going through that ISP in that area.

1324
01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:49,800
I'm not going to say.

1325
01:11:49,980 --> 01:11:50,240
Forget it.

1326
01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:51,160
You can get it just from there.

1327
01:11:51,220 --> 01:11:52,800
They don't have to go all the way back to Rome or wherever.

1328
01:11:52,980 --> 01:11:53,160
All right.

1329
01:11:53,180 --> 01:11:54,380
So the quick web technology.

1330
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:55,560
A lot of touching going on.

1331
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:56,820
A lot of fucking tell there.

1332
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:01,400
I mean, if I was playing poker and I came up against this guy, I'd be going, what's he fucking

1333
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:02,860
symbolizing there with this?

1334
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:04,540
He's got the spread bet.

1335
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:05,980
That's called the spread bet.

1336
01:12:05,980 --> 01:12:08,920
People that use an ISP that has Intel quick web technology on it.

1337
01:12:09,260 --> 01:12:09,860
The first person.

1338
01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:12,520
Then he's got to walk the dog.

1339
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:13,100
Watch this.

1340
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:16,640
Right up there.

1341
01:12:16,700 --> 01:12:17,460
He's walking the chicken.

1342
01:12:17,680 --> 01:12:18,440
Hits that site.

1343
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:19,420
Makes a copy on.

1344
01:12:19,480 --> 01:12:20,400
That's called the Superman.

1345
01:12:20,860 --> 01:12:21,340
Just there.

1346
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:23,380
It's going flying from left to right.

1347
01:12:23,940 --> 01:12:24,340
Wank.

1348
01:12:26,180 --> 01:12:26,620
Wank.

1349
01:12:27,020 --> 01:12:27,380
Right that.

1350
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:29,200
On the Intel server out there at the ISP.

1351
01:12:29,380 --> 01:12:30,980
And then he's got the Bosnich.

1352
01:12:31,740 --> 01:12:32,500
Do the Bosnich.

1353
01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:36,820
Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

1354
01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:38,160
Anybody else going through.

1355
01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:39,620
And then he's got the whole world.

1356
01:12:39,780 --> 01:12:42,160
That one's called the whole world in his hands.

1357
01:12:42,260 --> 01:12:45,860
He's got the whole world in his hands.

1358
01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:47,380
Going through that ISP.

1359
01:12:47,480 --> 01:12:48,680
And then he's got the open book.

1360
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:49,520
I'm an open book.

1361
01:12:49,580 --> 01:12:51,640
It can read me like an open book kind of guy.

1362
01:12:51,900 --> 01:12:52,700
In that area.

1363
01:12:52,980 --> 01:12:53,920
Can get it just from there.

1364
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:54,400
They don't have to go.

1365
01:12:54,540 --> 01:12:55,660
You've got a zigzag.

1366
01:12:56,120 --> 01:12:57,260
And away you go.

1367
01:12:57,500 --> 01:12:58,800
Then he's got the head scratch.

1368
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:01,520
He's got the fucking head scratch at the end.

1369
01:13:02,100 --> 01:13:04,900
It's a fucking busy busy busy site.

1370
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:08,980
Let's go back one more time and see all that in its uninterrupted glory.

1371
01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:12,060
Well Stuart there's essentially two key pieces to it.

1372
01:13:12,140 --> 01:13:15,300
One is compression where we squeeze the extra bits out of these big websites.

1373
01:13:15,540 --> 01:13:16,700
It's got the fucking squeeze.

1374
01:13:16,860 --> 01:13:18,540
It's called that's called the orange crusher.

1375
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:21,880
And you're always going to be interrupted uninterrupted.

1376
01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:24,420
But I can't stop this.

1377
01:13:24,460 --> 01:13:25,440
He's doing the peppermint.

1378
01:13:25,440 --> 01:13:28,660
That's called the fucking the Preston peppermint special.

1379
01:13:28,660 --> 01:13:30,560
Squeeze the extra bits out of these big websites.

1380
01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:31,600
Extra bits.

1381
01:13:31,660 --> 01:13:34,720
He wants to get the extra bits and pulp out of the fucking peppercorns.

1382
01:13:36,140 --> 01:13:38,380
The Preston peppermint expressway.

1383
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:40,060
Deluxe edition.

1384
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:43,340
He's got casting.

1385
01:13:43,340 --> 01:13:43,800
He's fishing.

1386
01:13:44,060 --> 01:13:45,740
He's casting off into the river there.

1387
01:13:46,620 --> 01:13:47,260
Look at this.

1388
01:13:47,400 --> 01:13:48,040
Castaway.

1389
01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:50,880
Tommy Hanks.

1390
01:13:56,880 --> 01:13:58,960
Now we're back full circle again.

1391
01:13:59,820 --> 01:14:03,900
The first person that hits that site makes a copy on the Intel server out there at the ISP.

1392
01:14:04,620 --> 01:14:05,760
Dodgy stuff though.

1393
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:06,160
You know.

1394
01:14:06,460 --> 01:14:07,520
I mean this is what we're.

1395
01:14:11,740 --> 01:14:12,640
We have.

1396
01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:14,840
Tonight at nine.

1397
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:17,280
Tonight at nine on the Spatues.

1398
01:14:20,380 --> 01:14:21,880
The computer chronicles.

1399
01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:24,940
The computer man who went third Reich.

1400
01:14:26,380 --> 01:14:29,060
The Preston peppermint extreme special edition.

1401
01:14:29,740 --> 01:14:31,180
And the Bosnich files.

1402
01:14:33,180 --> 01:14:35,180
Anybody else going through that ISP.

1403
01:14:35,180 --> 01:14:35,180
Anybody else going through that ISP.

1404
01:14:35,180 --> 01:14:35,980
That area.

1405
01:14:35,980 --> 01:14:37,240
Can get it just from there.

1406
01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:38,860
They don't have to go all the way back to Rome or wherever.

1407
01:14:38,860 --> 01:14:41,960
The quick web technology sits in my ISP.

1408
01:14:42,120 --> 01:14:43,120
Not at the client end.

1409
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:44,060
Not at the server end.

1410
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:44,520
But in the middle.

1411
01:14:44,700 --> 01:14:47,840
One of the cool things about this is you can get the speed up from Intel quick web technology

1412
01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:49,120
without having to install any hardware.

1413
01:14:49,340 --> 01:14:52,240
It's got some sweet little moves coming up here as well.

1414
01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:52,740
It's beautiful.

1415
01:14:52,860 --> 01:14:54,280
How long are we going to be on this guy?

1416
01:14:54,340 --> 01:14:56,440
Because we've only just got into it for 20 seconds.

1417
01:14:56,880 --> 01:14:58,280
It could be a three minute interview.

1418
01:14:58,880 --> 01:15:02,060
We could be here for 20 minutes on this guy alone.

1419
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:04,580
Cool things about this is you can get the speed up from Intel.

1420
01:15:05,380 --> 01:15:07,000
So he's honest John.

1421
01:15:07,380 --> 01:15:08,480
You can get the speed up.

1422
01:15:08,580 --> 01:15:09,660
He's gone for the spreader.

1423
01:15:09,940 --> 01:15:15,260
It's a double spread scenario again which says look I'm laying the info down on the table for you here.

1424
01:15:15,980 --> 01:15:19,940
I'm about to delve into something thick, big and I hope I've got your attention.

1425
01:15:20,380 --> 01:15:21,440
What does he come up with next?

1426
01:15:21,540 --> 01:15:23,520
What else does he throw into the mix?

1427
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:27,320
And he's going from left to right.

1428
01:15:28,060 --> 01:15:29,440
Got hardware over there.

1429
01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:31,860
Oh it's a clap.

1430
01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:32,660
He's a clap daddy.

1431
01:15:33,240 --> 01:15:34,220
It's a clap back.

1432
01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:38,400
But that clap back it was a transition out of Christ.

1433
01:15:38,980 --> 01:15:40,720
He went for Christ air.

1434
01:15:41,300 --> 01:15:42,880
Do you know the way Jesus would be like that?

1435
01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:45,920
Not on the cross but you know like

1436
01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:55,280
That was a Terminator 2 church edition.

1437
01:15:55,280 --> 01:15:57,280
Ha ha ha.

1438
01:15:58,320 --> 01:15:59,500
Ha ha.

1439
01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:02,000
Ha ha ha.

1440
01:16:03,440 --> 01:16:05,420
Ha ha ha.

1441
01:16:06,100 --> 01:16:07,140
Ha ha ha.

1442
01:16:07,980 --> 01:16:11,020
Bread and water.

1443
01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:14,660
Word of the Lord.

1444
01:16:14,660 --> 01:16:16,860
Lord.

1445
01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:19,520
Church.

1446
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:24,700
So he's got an open hands.

1447
01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:26,040
He's got the bread and the wine.

1448
01:16:27,620 --> 01:16:29,260
And that's called Christ Air.

1449
01:16:29,660 --> 01:16:33,460
And it goes from Christ Air into a fucking satanic clap.

1450
01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:35,600
It's a real mix of messages here.

1451
01:16:35,680 --> 01:16:37,120
Let's have a look at that in real time.

1452
01:16:38,300 --> 01:16:39,140
Boom.

1453
01:16:40,180 --> 01:16:40,660
Boom.

1454
01:16:41,660 --> 01:16:42,900
Boom, you're off to the races.

1455
01:16:42,900 --> 01:16:43,960
He said boom.

1456
01:16:43,960 --> 01:16:44,960
Boom.

1457
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:45,140
Boom.

1458
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:49,020
All right.

1459
01:16:49,020 --> 01:16:50,560
Let's take a look at what it actually does.

1460
01:16:50,660 --> 01:16:53,520
What is the speed factor that I get if I use quick web technology?

1461
01:16:53,520 --> 01:16:55,060
Well, you hit a few sites and you can see.

1462
01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:58,680
He transitioned from Hitler to Christ at pace.

1463
01:16:59,160 --> 01:16:59,580
For yourself.

1464
01:16:59,640 --> 01:17:00,680
Because it depends on the site.

1465
01:17:00,740 --> 01:17:01,940
How much graphics are on the site.

1466
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:02,040
All right.

1467
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:03,000
So set up what you've done here.

1468
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,460
We've got a little AB race going.

1469
01:17:04,600 --> 01:17:05,740
Two identical computers.

1470
01:17:05,740 --> 01:17:08,260
They're identical modems and software and everything.

1471
01:17:08,540 --> 01:17:10,560
They're going to the same modem bank in Oregon.

1472
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:12,220
Going out to the internet.

1473
01:17:12,380 --> 01:17:13,200
One goes through.

1474
01:17:13,260 --> 01:17:14,580
Another fucking clap.

1475
01:17:14,780 --> 01:17:15,560
And this is one.

1476
01:17:15,660 --> 01:17:20,460
He's about to do the trick where you fucking pretend that you've lost your thumb.

1477
01:17:20,920 --> 01:17:22,300
Do you know that one where you go like this?

1478
01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:24,260
Hey, do you want to see something cool, lads?

1479
01:17:24,420 --> 01:17:24,900
Look at that.

1480
01:17:24,980 --> 01:17:25,140
Hey.

1481
01:17:26,260 --> 01:17:27,200
What that is.

1482
01:17:27,940 --> 01:17:29,560
This is magic secrets revealed.

1483
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,200
You thought it was Stuart Chaffee's Computer Chronicles with me.

1484
01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:35,000
You just do that with your thumb, man.

1485
01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:37,020
And fucking put that bit of the thumb.

1486
01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:37,660
This bit here.

1487
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:39,260
Hide that behind the palm.

1488
01:17:40,320 --> 01:17:41,020
Go like that.

1489
01:17:43,220 --> 01:17:44,240
Hey, presto.

1490
01:17:44,980 --> 01:17:47,180
You've got a fucking disappearing thumb.

1491
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,120
You take that second thumb like that then.

1492
01:17:50,620 --> 01:17:53,140
And then you're really feeling the dream.

1493
01:17:54,500 --> 01:17:54,860
Sophistic.

1494
01:17:54,980 --> 01:17:55,660
Thanks very much.

1495
01:17:55,660 --> 01:18:02,820
What he was trying to do there was transition from Hitler to Christ air to thumb trick magic.

1496
01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,960
But he didn't have the balls to really follow through on it.

1497
01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:07,040
Thanks very much, Sophistics.

1498
01:18:07,200 --> 01:18:08,080
Lovely start in the week.

1499
01:18:08,380 --> 01:18:09,560
But yourself and Stu, thanks very much.

1500
01:18:09,620 --> 01:18:11,540
It's not just Stu that we're starting with, Sophistics.

1501
01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:13,040
It's this guy, Preston.

1502
01:18:13,080 --> 01:18:16,440
The Preston Peppermill Third Reich Edition.

1503
01:18:16,700 --> 01:18:25,000
He has definitely straddled the line between what is and isn't acceptable in the modern age.

1504
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:30,680
And those signifiers that he was kicking off about Nazi Germany, doing that kind of Mark Bosnich stuff,

1505
01:18:30,780 --> 01:18:34,860
really has cast a dark light over the whole proceedings.

1506
01:18:35,340 --> 01:18:37,180
I can't even remember what this guy is here for.

1507
01:18:37,440 --> 01:18:38,540
Said he's from Intel.

1508
01:18:39,020 --> 01:18:41,660
Intel Quick Web Technology Server, though, on its way out to the Internet.

1509
01:18:42,240 --> 01:18:44,940
And that's the one with the pop-up there that you see in the window.

1510
01:18:44,940 --> 01:18:45,640
All right, so the only...

1511
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:47,080
Pop-up, the toolbox.

1512
01:18:47,500 --> 01:18:50,420
The only variable is one's using Quick Web, one isn't...

1513
01:18:50,420 --> 01:18:51,220
All the other parameters...

1514
01:18:51,220 --> 01:18:52,440
Right, the PC here...

1515
01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:53,620
Ha, ha, ha.

1516
01:18:54,500 --> 01:18:55,560
Ha, ha.

1517
01:18:55,880 --> 01:18:56,280
Ha, ha.

1518
01:18:56,280 --> 01:19:05,340
I think they should take the Terminator 2 theme and implement that into songs of praise or mass.

1519
01:19:05,580 --> 01:19:06,720
Just mass in general.

1520
01:19:06,840 --> 01:19:12,880
I know Catholic mass isn't as big on the happy, clappy, sing-songy vibes as Protestant mass.

1521
01:19:13,420 --> 01:19:24,580
Or if there are any prods out there watching who want some information on how to spice up your fucking proceedings over the Christmas time, I'm your man.

1522
01:19:24,580 --> 01:19:31,380
I think you should actually go leaning heavy to the sci-fi era fucking theme tune, starting with fucking Terminator 2.

1523
01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:42,980
And do some kind of Christianic Terminator 2 humming, singing, and Gregorian kind of chanting as well for your Christmas celebrations.

1524
01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:47,780
I think it would add a little bit of zip and zest to what has become a tired format.

1525
01:19:47,780 --> 01:20:06,980
Don't want to offend anyone out there in the church world, but your diminishing returns and dwindling numbers attending your ceremonies only serve to highlight the fact that you haven't embraced Terminator 2 theme tune as a new Catholic or Christian theme tune.

1526
01:20:07,060 --> 01:20:07,640
Think about it.

1527
01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:08,640
I don't think...

1528
01:20:08,640 --> 01:20:16,600
James Cameron is going to be on your fucking tits about that stuff.

1529
01:20:16,700 --> 01:20:18,040
I think he's got his...

1530
01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:20,020
His mind is on Avatar at the moment.

1531
01:20:20,860 --> 01:20:22,460
Thanks very much, Preston Peppermill.

1532
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:24,560
Very, very kind of tip there.

1533
01:20:24,600 --> 01:20:30,480
I think Cameron has got his mind taken up with Avatar, the blue lads, the blue man group.

1534
01:20:31,220 --> 01:20:38,580
And I think if you stole that and transmorgified it into a Christian mass scenario, I'd be there.

1535
01:20:38,680 --> 01:20:44,680
I'd be there every day you were playing it just to be in the fucking middle of a real situation.

1536
01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:45,400
Do you know what I mean?

1537
01:20:45,620 --> 01:20:48,440
Other than that, welcome to the galaxy.

1538
01:20:48,620 --> 01:20:49,420
Thanks for tuning in.

1539
01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:53,320
Wake and snake, brew and stew, a great start to the day.

1540
01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:55,140
I'd love a cup of coffee right now.

1541
01:20:55,620 --> 01:20:58,080
Maybe we'll go for one in seven minutes when this is finished.

1542
01:20:58,180 --> 01:21:03,300
But seven minutes, stew time roughly translates probably into 20 minute snake time.

1543
01:21:03,560 --> 01:21:03,720
All right.

1544
01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:04,060
Identical.

1545
01:21:04,140 --> 01:21:04,280
All right.

1546
01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:05,040
So what are you going to do now?

1547
01:21:05,140 --> 01:21:06,660
Download two pages?

1548
01:21:06,860 --> 01:21:07,640
We'll hit two pages.

1549
01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:09,560
Well, let's say we go to the Boeing company.

1550
01:21:09,780 --> 01:21:10,000
Okay.

1551
01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:11,360
Because we've got a lot of pictures on the website.

1552
01:21:11,360 --> 01:21:12,160
Ready, get set, go.

1553
01:21:12,160 --> 01:21:13,260
And you just said launch it.

1554
01:21:13,480 --> 01:21:13,840
And we start.

1555
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:16,100
Russ Abbott, thanks very much there, Russ Abbott.

1556
01:21:16,300 --> 01:21:19,100
And look at this quick web versus 28.8 modem.

1557
01:21:19,180 --> 01:21:24,940
We've got a real hypertext markup link race to the fucking bitter end here.

1558
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:31,140
They're going to load up two HTML fucking pages and go, look, lads, run to the end.

1559
01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:32,680
And we'll see who's the winner.

1560
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:35,320
Over here, we're looking at quick web, obviously.

1561
01:21:35,720 --> 01:21:40,840
Whoa, look at how fast those fucking applets, those Java applets are loading the images.

1562
01:21:41,740 --> 01:21:44,220
And you can see the bonus site has a lot of pictures.

1563
01:21:44,660 --> 01:21:45,100
And it's done.

1564
01:21:45,140 --> 01:21:45,700
That one's done.

1565
01:21:45,900 --> 01:21:46,700
And this one's still loading.

1566
01:21:46,820 --> 01:21:50,000
This is the way you'd normally see it on a 28.8 modem from your home.

1567
01:21:50,000 --> 01:21:50,320
Whoa.

1568
01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:54,300
And this site we picked because it has a lot of pictures you can see.

1569
01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:55,240
And that's what we do.

1570
01:21:55,260 --> 01:21:57,540
We speed up the pictures on the website, not all the words.

1571
01:21:57,640 --> 01:21:58,900
So if you hit a website, it was.

1572
01:21:59,900 --> 01:22:01,660
Anaconda Jeezy in the easy.

1573
01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:03,300
Avec das.

1574
01:22:04,020 --> 01:22:04,500
4.

1575
01:22:07,060 --> 01:22:07,460
30.

1576
01:22:08,220 --> 01:22:12,800
I'm trying to mix up the languages there of French and German.

1577
01:22:14,380 --> 01:22:14,900
4.

1578
01:22:15,140 --> 01:22:15,480
30.

1579
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:16,000
4.

1580
01:22:16,260 --> 01:22:16,560
30.

1581
01:22:16,700 --> 01:22:18,340
Was that 42 or 420?

1582
01:22:18,400 --> 01:22:18,940
I'm not sure.

1583
01:22:22,440 --> 01:22:22,960
Anaconda Jeezy.

1584
01:22:22,980 --> 01:22:24,320
I don't have the fucking clip.

1585
01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:27,460
But I'll just try and robotize it there for a second.

1586
01:22:29,280 --> 01:22:30,320
Anaconda Jeezy.

1587
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:37,600
Anaconda.

1588
01:22:38,560 --> 01:22:40,340
Thanks for the tape.

1589
01:22:43,220 --> 01:22:45,380
Not sure how that fucking worked out.

1590
01:22:45,380 --> 01:22:46,420
But look at the speed here.

1591
01:22:46,500 --> 01:22:53,520
You join us at a time where we're really having a big fast foot race between two websites.

1592
01:22:53,860 --> 01:22:56,500
One with Quick Web and 128.8 modem.

1593
01:22:56,500 --> 01:22:58,080
And if you can't see all words, you wouldn't see that much speed.

1594
01:22:58,080 --> 01:22:59,520
Now what modem speed are we at right now?

1595
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:00,160
28.8.

1596
01:23:00,460 --> 01:23:00,680
All right.

1597
01:23:00,680 --> 01:23:02,040
Which is what most people on the internet are at.

1598
01:23:02,100 --> 01:23:02,620
28.8.

1599
01:23:02,800 --> 01:23:03,000
Gotcha.

1600
01:23:03,100 --> 01:23:06,360
Now am I suffering some degradation of the quality of these graphics?

1601
01:23:06,460 --> 01:23:08,200
It doesn't look quite as crisp as on the other side.

1602
01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:09,040
There we go.

1603
01:23:09,040 --> 01:23:12,220
And Stu's got a fucking keen eye for what is and what isn't.

1604
01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:20,280
He's noted here that even though this technology that your man's slinging at us, fast websites and the sort, there is a degradation in quality.

1605
01:23:20,500 --> 01:23:22,960
And we're going to get that from the fucking horse's mouth right now.

1606
01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:24,280
Rusty bullet hole bandit.

1607
01:23:24,340 --> 01:23:25,620
Thank you very much for the tip.

1608
01:23:25,640 --> 01:23:26,760
There's a little bit more fuzziness.

1609
01:23:27,460 --> 01:23:28,120
There we go.

1610
01:23:28,280 --> 01:23:28,760
We heard it.

1611
01:23:29,640 --> 01:23:31,080
...of the quality of these graphics.

1612
01:23:31,180 --> 01:23:32,420
On the internet are at 28.8.

1613
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:32,780
Gotcha.

1614
01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:36,140
Now am I suffering some degradation of the quality of these graphics?

1615
01:23:36,220 --> 01:23:37,980
It doesn't look quite as crisp as on the other side.

1616
01:23:37,980 --> 01:23:42,300
There's a little bit more fuzziness because we do squeeze out the bits and throw them in the bit bucket.

1617
01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:45,460
These lads at Intel are squeezing out the bits.

1618
01:23:45,460 --> 01:23:49,100
And you know that's fucking Preston telling you that because he's a real bit squeezer.

1619
01:23:49,180 --> 01:23:51,840
We've seen him do the fucking bit squeeze shuffle 10 minutes ago.

1620
01:23:51,920 --> 01:23:55,840
If you've just joined us, you've missed this guy Preston doing a fucking Nazi salute.

1621
01:23:57,160 --> 01:23:59,220
And he was doing a fucking pepper mill dance.

1622
01:23:59,300 --> 01:24:01,180
He was nearly doing the fucking Macarena.

1623
01:24:01,380 --> 01:24:09,040
You could put the Macarena to what he was doing if you were wanting to get a fucking right wing Macarena in to start your day.

1624
01:24:09,180 --> 01:24:10,320
But I'm not going back there again.

1625
01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:12,140
So there's a little bit of loss of resolution.

1626
01:24:12,380 --> 01:24:13,940
And depending on how finicky you are...

1627
01:24:13,940 --> 01:24:14,660
But generally who cares?

1628
01:24:15,160 --> 01:24:16,100
Most people can't see the difference.

1629
01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:19,780
Now can I control that and say, hey, in this particular graphic, I really want the resolution.

1630
01:24:19,900 --> 01:24:20,600
I don't want the speed.

1631
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:24,660
Let's say you've hit 10 websites looking for the artwork you want from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

1632
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:26,740
Once you find it, you can go up here.

1633
01:24:26,980 --> 01:24:27,360
This guy, yeah.

1634
01:24:27,480 --> 01:24:29,020
This is the man I was talking about.

1635
01:24:29,120 --> 01:24:31,460
Look at the way he's doing the Christ era again.

1636
01:24:31,720 --> 01:24:33,740
I'm a Windows kind of guy.

1637
01:24:33,780 --> 01:24:35,520
I'm an Intel processor kind of guy.

1638
01:24:35,660 --> 01:24:37,700
I'm Pat the processor, Preston the processor.

1639
01:24:38,320 --> 01:24:39,620
I'm going to show you the world.

1640
01:24:39,720 --> 01:24:40,980
I'm going to show you an expand.

1641
01:24:41,760 --> 01:24:42,360
I'm going to...

1642
01:24:42,360 --> 01:24:43,660
What else am I going to do with those hands?

1643
01:24:43,700 --> 01:24:44,600
I'm going to put something together.

1644
01:24:44,660 --> 01:24:45,600
I'm going to bring it back.

1645
01:24:45,760 --> 01:24:47,560
I'm going to fucking point over there.

1646
01:24:48,440 --> 01:24:52,960
I'm also going to tap this laptop button and show you something else here.

1647
01:24:53,060 --> 01:24:53,720
Look over here.

1648
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:56,280
In the left-hand corner of the Quick Web one, you can see...

1649
01:24:56,280 --> 01:24:57,860
Got the Quick Web window.

1650
01:24:57,980 --> 01:24:59,100
This is called the Speed Selector.

1651
01:24:59,520 --> 01:25:01,620
Normally you run in high gear...

1652
01:25:01,620 --> 01:25:11,080
You've got a shit-hot mini window at the top left there just to really give you the fucking stat package on what you're rocking when you're fucking opening these Boeing websites.

1653
01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:12,000
Nine to four pays.

1654
01:25:12,100 --> 01:25:12,640
Thanks very much.

1655
01:25:12,740 --> 01:25:13,220
Quick speed.

1656
01:25:13,680 --> 01:25:14,140
Quick speed.

1657
01:25:14,140 --> 01:25:17,300
But let's say you find the site you want and you want to reload it in full resolution.

1658
01:25:17,520 --> 01:25:18,620
So you've already hit 10 sites.

1659
01:25:18,700 --> 01:25:21,240
You've found the artwork, Michelangelo's artwork from the Sistine Chapel.

1660
01:25:21,320 --> 01:25:21,500
Right.

1661
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:25,440
You can hit normal speed and then you can hit the reload button.

1662
01:25:26,120 --> 01:25:26,480
Okay.

1663
01:25:26,540 --> 01:25:29,320
And say bring it back to me but don't give me the compression routine.

1664
01:25:29,540 --> 01:25:30,020
Don't squeeze it down.

1665
01:25:30,100 --> 01:25:34,480
Just give it to me in full resolution because we made a copy on the cache at Uriah's...

1666
01:25:34,480 --> 01:25:38,000
Great communicator.

1667
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:41,640
If a little bit dodgy.

1668
01:25:41,820 --> 01:25:42,220
Yeah.

1669
01:25:42,320 --> 01:25:43,660
There's a copy stored in...

1670
01:25:43,660 --> 01:25:44,940
Let's say you're in San Francisco here.

1671
01:25:45,020 --> 01:25:46,600
It's stored on the local computer in San Francisco.

1672
01:25:46,740 --> 01:25:49,400
You don't have to go all the way across the country, across the Atlantic to Rome.

1673
01:25:49,680 --> 01:25:50,000
Boom.

1674
01:25:50,060 --> 01:25:50,560
It's right there.

1675
01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:51,780
So you can see this one...

1676
01:25:51,780 --> 01:25:52,980
He loves saying Rome.

1677
01:25:53,060 --> 01:25:57,800
He's got a fascination with Rome which was the original Empire Reich.

1678
01:25:57,800 --> 01:26:01,280
Do you know before the one that he was fucking alluded to with the Bosnich?

1679
01:26:02,180 --> 01:26:03,760
Even though it's the same resolution now.

1680
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:04,000
All right.

1681
01:26:04,040 --> 01:26:05,940
Now let me ask you and how do I get this?

1682
01:26:06,020 --> 01:26:12,340
I simply go to my ISP and say, hey, I want to buy this extra service called Quick Web and I pay a monthly fee.

1683
01:26:12,420 --> 01:26:14,540
You pay a little bit more a month to get this kind of service.

1684
01:26:14,660 --> 01:26:16,180
It's sort of like call waiting or call right now.

1685
01:26:16,180 --> 01:26:17,180
I'll play it after.

1686
01:26:17,180 --> 01:26:18,180
I'll play it after.

1687
01:26:18,180 --> 01:26:19,720
I was going to play Case by a Seal again.

1688
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:20,560
I'll just wait until the end.

1689
01:26:20,560 --> 01:26:21,840
...channels or something like that.

1690
01:26:21,900 --> 01:26:22,720
And your ISP then...

1691
01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:23,500
No software.

1692
01:26:23,720 --> 01:26:25,100
It doesn't matter what processor I've got.

1693
01:26:25,100 --> 01:26:25,100
No software.

1694
01:26:25,140 --> 01:26:25,620
No hardware.

1695
01:26:25,780 --> 01:26:26,360
It runs on a Mac.

1696
01:26:26,420 --> 01:26:27,140
It runs on the Windows.

1697
01:26:27,820 --> 01:26:28,420
Whatever you want.

1698
01:26:28,540 --> 01:26:30,500
What does this do quickly to audio and video streaming?

1699
01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:31,580
Does it affect that in any way?

1700
01:26:31,580 --> 01:26:32,180
It doesn't affect it.

1701
01:26:32,260 --> 01:26:33,160
Not so far.

1702
01:26:33,240 --> 01:26:34,200
We're not speeding that up.

1703
01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:35,400
Right now we're just passing that through.

1704
01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,980
If we get enough feedback from the market, we could do something like that.

1705
01:26:37,980 --> 01:26:38,720
Intel's Quick Web.

1706
01:26:38,800 --> 01:26:39,300
Thank you very much.

1707
01:26:39,300 --> 01:26:39,640
Wait.

1708
01:26:39,840 --> 01:26:40,600
Really nice.

1709
01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,300
...a look at how to create your own website.

1710
01:26:42,480 --> 01:26:45,540
Next up, another special preview look at Windows 98.

1711
01:26:45,740 --> 01:26:47,360
And I'll be back with my pick of the week.

1712
01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:53,020
Customizing your start menu is a great idea.

1713
01:26:53,140 --> 01:26:53,540
Sensual.

1714
01:26:54,400 --> 01:26:55,300
Fucking Mike Egan.

1715
01:26:57,560 --> 01:26:59,200
Customizing your start menu is a great idea.

1716
01:26:59,280 --> 01:27:00,260
Mike Elgin, sorry.

1717
01:27:01,180 --> 01:27:01,900
Elgin Ring.

1718
01:27:02,620 --> 01:27:04,240
Fucking Elgin Ring's after you.

1719
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:05,120
Tonight.

1720
01:27:05,580 --> 01:27:06,540
Office 97.

1721
01:27:06,820 --> 01:27:08,300
It's got Java 1.1.

1722
01:27:08,780 --> 01:27:10,400
It's got a fucking VCR, is it?

1723
01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:12,980
You've got a fucking floppy disk.

1724
01:27:13,060 --> 01:27:14,740
3.5 inch floppy.

1725
01:27:15,020 --> 01:27:18,640
You've got a webcam there looking at us, filming us, watching him.

1726
01:27:19,940 --> 01:27:23,040
It's a real tech corner he's got here.

1727
01:27:23,180 --> 01:27:25,960
It's a lovely little man cave he's got going for himself here.

1728
01:27:26,060 --> 01:27:28,200
Unfortunately, in Windows 95, it's way too hard.

1729
01:27:28,640 --> 01:27:31,420
It's a lot easier in Windows 98 because it's all done with a drag and drop.

1730
01:27:31,840 --> 01:27:32,820
Let me show you how it's done.

1731
01:27:33,600 --> 01:27:35,220
I'm going to click on the start button here.

1732
01:27:35,580 --> 01:27:35,780
Wow.

1733
01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:37,100
Just go to the programs item.

1734
01:27:37,480 --> 01:27:37,740
Book.

1735
01:27:37,840 --> 01:27:39,140
And select Microsoft Word.

1736
01:27:39,440 --> 01:27:39,660
Wow.

1737
01:27:39,660 --> 01:27:45,440
I'm going to just drag and drop with the left mouse button and drag it up to the top of the start menu.

1738
01:27:45,760 --> 01:27:46,940
Drag and drop, baby.

1739
01:27:46,940 --> 01:27:48,740
And when I click on the start button, Word is always going to be there.

1740
01:27:49,280 --> 01:27:51,020
I can rearrange all these items as well.

1741
01:27:51,060 --> 01:27:53,860
I'm going to drag and drop Microsoft Excel here to the bottom.

1742
01:27:54,580 --> 01:27:55,120
Fucking Elgin.

1743
01:27:55,120 --> 01:27:57,340
Bring the MS-DOS prompt to the bottom as well.

1744
01:27:57,660 --> 01:27:58,580
I can do anything I like.

1745
01:27:58,900 --> 01:27:59,000
Jesus.

1746
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:04,500
We would not have been able to imagine that this could have been possible back then, but it was possible.

1747
01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:08,020
And here was Elgin Ring delivering the good news.

1748
01:28:08,140 --> 01:28:09,700
Drag and drop to the desktop.

1749
01:28:10,900 --> 01:28:12,240
Here's Excel going to the desktop.

1750
01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:13,540
And now that's a real shortcut.

1751
01:28:14,140 --> 01:28:15,500
And of course, it works both ways.

1752
01:28:15,600 --> 01:28:18,640
I can put Microsoft Outlook right there on the start menu.

1753
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:19,980
Real game changer.

1754
01:28:20,080 --> 01:28:20,780
Up here with Microsoft Word.

1755
01:28:21,220 --> 01:28:22,500
And here's a really neat trick.

1756
01:28:23,260 --> 01:28:25,340
You can drag and drop to the task bar.

1757
01:28:25,920 --> 01:28:30,920
It creates a miniaturized icon that you can click on in the future to launch the application that's there.

1758
01:28:30,960 --> 01:28:34,340
Wow, it's got a beautiful calculator app there as well.

1759
01:28:34,660 --> 01:28:37,460
That you can click on in the future to launch the application that's there.

1760
01:28:37,460 --> 01:28:37,920
Straight.

1761
01:28:38,040 --> 01:28:41,980
That's a quick launch fucking calculator that he had rigged up to his toolbar.

1762
01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:46,940
Ready to fucking explode with numbers and permutations, combinations.

1763
01:28:49,580 --> 01:28:50,920
Just goes to show, doesn't it?

1764
01:28:51,140 --> 01:28:54,140
Really goes to show what it is it shows?

1765
01:28:54,220 --> 01:28:55,640
I don't know where it goes to show it.

1766
01:28:57,800 --> 01:29:00,800
Waking up to some Fat 32 and real stuff.

1767
01:29:01,140 --> 01:29:02,980
Captain Sack, thanks very much.

1768
01:29:02,980 --> 01:29:07,960
Those are just a few of the ways that you can customize easily the start menu in Windows 98.

1769
01:29:08,480 --> 01:29:12,000
Now, you should note that this is also something you can do in Internet Explorer 4.0,

1770
01:29:12,080 --> 01:29:14,580
which is freely downloadable from the Microsoft site.

1771
01:29:15,160 --> 01:29:15,900
Back to you, Stuart.

1772
01:29:17,100 --> 01:29:20,440
Beautiful, beautiful end transition there straight into Sue.

1773
01:29:20,540 --> 01:29:21,340
No fucking around.

1774
01:29:21,480 --> 01:29:23,460
There was no graphics package necessary.

1775
01:29:23,540 --> 01:29:24,200
It was straight into Sue.

1776
01:29:24,400 --> 01:29:25,740
Chib, thank you very much.

1777
01:29:25,780 --> 01:29:27,600
Some interesting news has come to light here.

1778
01:29:27,680 --> 01:29:29,380
Chib, thanks very much for the tip, by the way.

1779
01:29:29,440 --> 01:29:29,940
Very kindly.

1780
01:29:30,300 --> 01:29:33,920
Chib has actually come to tell us the good news here.

1781
01:29:34,040 --> 01:29:35,400
Sharing the good news that is...

1782
01:29:35,400 --> 01:29:38,220
Not sure if this has come to light, but I found an unlisted video.

1783
01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:42,260
When I saw that unlisted video, I found one.

1784
01:29:42,540 --> 01:29:43,840
I started to get shitted up.

1785
01:29:44,340 --> 01:29:45,220
I thought, he's found...

1786
01:29:45,220 --> 01:29:47,980
I'm not sure if it's come to light, but I found an unlisted video.

1787
01:29:48,580 --> 01:29:51,360
I was like, what the fuck is the rest of this sentence going to be?

1788
01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:56,720
Is it of me doing the fucking Mark Bosnich at fucking 3 a.m.

1789
01:29:56,860 --> 01:29:59,180
in my underpants uptown when no one's looking?

1790
01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:01,120
Not that I do that.

1791
01:30:01,180 --> 01:30:02,000
But anyway, do you know what I mean?

1792
01:30:02,020 --> 01:30:05,600
I'm just kind of highlighting that there could be videos out there of me or something.

1793
01:30:05,880 --> 01:30:06,740
Even though there's tons.

1794
01:30:07,580 --> 01:30:12,360
Anyway, I read the rest of the sentence and was pleasantly surprised because he wrote...

1795
01:30:12,360 --> 01:30:17,040
Not sure if it's come to light, but I found an unlisted video of all Paul Schindler's game show appearances.

1796
01:30:18,240 --> 01:30:18,680
Dash.

1797
01:30:19,140 --> 01:30:20,860
Found it on his personal website.

1798
01:30:21,280 --> 01:30:23,200
Sorry if this is stale intel.

1799
01:30:23,360 --> 01:30:24,660
Well, I'll tell you something, Chib.

1800
01:30:24,980 --> 01:30:26,160
It's not stale.

1801
01:30:26,700 --> 01:30:28,640
It's a beautiful piece of information.

1802
01:30:28,640 --> 01:30:33,380
And I want to give you a round of applause for that piece of information, please.

1803
01:30:36,200 --> 01:30:36,680
Applause.

1804
01:30:38,040 --> 01:30:38,860
Applause, please.

1805
01:30:38,960 --> 01:30:39,900
We want an applause for that.

1806
01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:41,760
That's a laugh.

1807
01:30:41,900 --> 01:30:43,060
Sorry to laugh at you there.

1808
01:30:43,500 --> 01:30:44,740
That's some great news.

1809
01:30:44,840 --> 01:30:46,140
We didn't know that existed.

1810
01:30:46,340 --> 01:30:52,820
I had had links thrown at me regarding Paul Schindler's appearances on Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.

1811
01:30:53,080 --> 01:30:57,520
But I thought they were a text-based exercise in recounting the tale.

1812
01:30:58,320 --> 01:31:01,380
I assume this is a video, a documentary of sorts.

1813
01:31:01,660 --> 01:31:05,380
I will be very, very happy to check that out in due course.

1814
01:31:05,380 --> 01:31:08,000
which is freely downloadable from the Microsoft site.

1815
01:31:08,600 --> 01:31:09,320
Back to you, Stuart.

1816
01:31:09,940 --> 01:31:11,420
Now for my pick of the week.

1817
01:31:11,740 --> 01:31:18,160
Let's say you want to build your own personal website, but you don't want to spend the hundred bucks to go out and buy some web design software.

1818
01:31:18,600 --> 01:31:21,280
Well, I'm going to show you how to create your own website for nothing.

1819
01:31:21,280 --> 01:31:22,060
Web community.

1820
01:31:22,060 --> 01:31:24,160
Web service called Homestead.

1821
01:31:24,160 --> 01:31:29,920
This is a Java-based application that you can use for free to create and host your own website.

1822
01:31:30,260 --> 01:31:32,380
The URL is homestead.com.

1823
01:31:32,700 --> 01:31:33,580
Here's how it works.

1824
01:31:33,940 --> 01:31:41,360
Once you log on to Homestead, you see a page builder that lets you easily drag and drop various text, graphic, and interactive elements.

1825
01:31:41,740 --> 01:31:42,960
Beautiful.

1826
01:31:42,960 --> 01:31:43,140
The Homestead site is full.

1827
01:31:43,280 --> 01:31:43,680
Whizzywig.

1828
01:31:44,800 --> 01:31:46,460
Whizzywig is involved in it as well.

1829
01:31:46,960 --> 01:31:48,380
Stuart's home page.

1830
01:31:48,720 --> 01:31:53,640
Whizzywig is what you see is what you get, if I remember correctly.

1831
01:31:54,240 --> 01:31:56,360
A piece of software that is used for des...

1832
01:31:56,360 --> 01:31:58,700
Is it desktop publishing or was it for websites?

1833
01:31:58,920 --> 01:31:59,300
I'm not sure.

1834
01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:00,680
Wesites, I was going to say.

1835
01:32:00,900 --> 01:32:02,560
By Alani, by Wes.

1836
01:32:03,020 --> 01:32:04,660
Had his own Wesite back in the day.

1837
01:32:04,660 --> 01:32:06,420
Probably not, though.

1838
01:32:06,460 --> 01:32:09,580
Doesn't look like the man, kind of man, who would have had his own website.

1839
01:32:09,840 --> 01:32:14,000
I'm sure the record company had a website for him, but it didn't look like he was into HTML.

1840
01:32:14,260 --> 01:32:18,320
He was more into kind of African kind of biodome beats.

1841
01:32:19,340 --> 01:32:22,240
Baro soma que tu la che.

1842
01:32:22,720 --> 01:32:24,720
Real time, inside a browser.

1843
01:32:25,120 --> 01:32:27,000
It's easy to import images or animals.

1844
01:32:27,000 --> 01:32:27,880
Whoa, high res.

1845
01:32:29,140 --> 01:32:31,540
Fucking high res on that candy bar.

1846
01:32:31,540 --> 01:32:34,540
Check out the fucking bits on the candy bar.

1847
01:32:35,500 --> 01:32:38,760
What about that fucking pair of carrots down there?

1848
01:32:39,420 --> 01:32:41,500
Surely they'd come in handy for something.

1849
01:32:42,740 --> 01:32:44,240
Not to mention the beans.

1850
01:32:44,440 --> 01:32:48,860
Don't go blowing the beans and using that on every document, because I guarantee you'll want to.

1851
01:32:49,340 --> 01:32:52,660
Because look at how fucking gloriously rendered those beans are.

1852
01:32:54,980 --> 01:33:02,040
There's a whole host of beautiful images there that would really bring whatever the fucking shite is you're peddling to life.

1853
01:33:03,480 --> 01:33:05,020
Be it a slice of cake.

1854
01:33:05,020 --> 01:33:06,720
A burger.

1855
01:33:07,300 --> 01:33:08,660
A cappuccino.

1856
01:33:09,580 --> 01:33:10,980
A coffee grinder.

1857
01:33:11,640 --> 01:33:12,860
A coffee break.

1858
01:33:13,500 --> 01:33:17,460
I can really see myself utilising the three of these guys.

1859
01:33:17,460 --> 01:33:18,620
Or even the four.

1860
01:33:18,720 --> 01:33:18,860
Look.

1861
01:33:19,000 --> 01:33:19,740
A packet of coffee.

1862
01:33:20,200 --> 01:33:21,160
The coffee bean.

1863
01:33:21,920 --> 01:33:23,360
The coffee break icon.

1864
01:33:23,640 --> 01:33:25,280
And not to mention that coffee grinder.

1865
01:33:25,460 --> 01:33:26,020
What an absolute.

1866
01:33:26,160 --> 01:33:30,500
You'd have a field day writing an article about coffee with those guys.

1867
01:33:30,580 --> 01:33:32,720
In your arsenal.

1868
01:33:34,160 --> 01:33:37,860
Wait until these cunts see what I've got in my arsenal of clip art.

1869
01:33:38,180 --> 01:33:41,480
Have we got anything a bit dark and demonic for that kind of stuff there?

1870
01:33:42,960 --> 01:33:45,800
These assholes out there underestimate me.

1871
01:33:45,900 --> 01:33:48,340
And they think that my documents are going to be shit.

1872
01:33:49,020 --> 01:33:49,280
Yeah.

1873
01:33:49,920 --> 01:33:50,560
Well just with it.

1874
01:33:50,700 --> 01:33:51,560
This is me by the way.

1875
01:33:51,560 --> 01:33:53,040
Thank you very much for the tip there.

1876
01:33:53,180 --> 01:33:58,440
This is me back in 1998 working for a desktop publishing company or for a.

1877
01:33:58,640 --> 01:34:01,300
Just in an office and I've got a big presentation tomorrow.

1878
01:34:01,440 --> 01:34:02,840
And this is me at 3 a.m.

1879
01:34:03,160 --> 01:34:03,980
This is me at 4.

1880
01:34:04,200 --> 01:34:07,220
This is me at 5.30 a.m. in 1998.

1881
01:34:08,380 --> 01:34:11,080
And I've got the jump on the fuckers in the office.

1882
01:34:11,080 --> 01:34:11,700
Because I've got.

1883
01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:13,720
I've invested in some computer technology.

1884
01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:20,340
Those fucking assholes in the office.

1885
01:34:20,860 --> 01:34:24,400
They're not going to know what hit them tomorrow when they see my presentation.

1886
01:34:24,940 --> 01:34:28,180
I've got a whole host of beautiful fucking graphics.

1887
01:34:28,180 --> 01:34:35,080
fucking Jim in accounts with his stupid little smirk and his daft expressionless face when he.

1888
01:34:35,380 --> 01:34:37,940
He often so often derides me.

1889
01:34:38,840 --> 01:34:40,040
For by output.

1890
01:34:40,520 --> 01:34:40,720
Yeah.

1891
01:34:41,240 --> 01:34:43,620
He's going to have to go and do his own accounts mentally.

1892
01:34:44,000 --> 01:34:50,900
After he sees the coffee bean icon that I'm going to insert into my article about the fucking coffee machines we're going to be selling.

1893
01:34:55,700 --> 01:34:58,060
Wait until they get a load of my arse.

1894
01:34:58,060 --> 01:35:01,900
And wait.

1895
01:35:02,320 --> 01:35:04,600
Wait until they get a load of my arsenal.

1896
01:35:04,960 --> 01:35:09,580
Could be a patent pended quote that you could use in the future as well.

1897
01:35:09,660 --> 01:35:15,020
I'm not going to fucking come sue you if I see that crop up in something or other that you're making out there guys.

1898
01:35:15,520 --> 01:35:16,040
Gloppy Daesh.

1899
01:35:16,100 --> 01:35:17,220
Thanks very much for the tip.

1900
01:35:17,620 --> 01:35:19,120
Do you have a certificate of completion?

1901
01:35:19,300 --> 01:35:19,900
I don't.

1902
01:35:20,340 --> 01:35:21,720
The ECDL is it?

1903
01:35:22,680 --> 01:35:23,140
I don't.

1904
01:35:23,140 --> 01:35:25,300
I just have a standard driving license.

1905
01:35:25,840 --> 01:35:27,200
Not an ECDL.

1906
01:35:27,340 --> 01:35:32,800
I wonder how far you get if a guard stopped you on the road to check you're doing a fucking spot check.

1907
01:35:33,460 --> 01:35:35,320
And you whipped out an ECDL.

1908
01:35:35,920 --> 01:35:37,700
Just to really smite him.

1909
01:35:38,020 --> 01:35:39,180
Instead of the driving license.

1910
01:35:39,440 --> 01:35:40,560
It wouldn't get you far.

1911
01:35:41,420 --> 01:35:42,680
It would not get you far.

1912
01:35:43,300 --> 01:35:44,880
With its own clip art library.

1913
01:35:45,240 --> 01:35:48,300
You can do layering and even add complex elements like...

1914
01:35:48,300 --> 01:35:49,080
Fuck off.

1915
01:35:49,160 --> 01:35:49,720
No way.

1916
01:35:50,100 --> 01:35:51,880
...scrolling banners and chat rooms.

1917
01:35:52,360 --> 01:35:53,060
One nice...

1918
01:35:53,060 --> 01:35:54,180
Chat topics.

1919
01:35:54,320 --> 01:35:55,640
...feature of Homestead is...

1920
01:35:55,640 --> 01:35:58,020
I'm going to get told off because it's half nine now.

1921
01:35:58,080 --> 01:35:58,740
It's 10 a.m.

1922
01:35:59,060 --> 01:35:59,320
Do you know what?

1923
01:35:59,380 --> 01:36:00,100
I'm allowed...

1924
01:36:00,100 --> 01:36:03,640
I'm allowed to fucking say and do what I want in my own space, am I not?

1925
01:36:03,780 --> 01:36:04,940
Obviously not because...

1926
01:36:05,580 --> 01:36:07,380
As I said on this previous stream...

1927
01:36:07,380 --> 01:36:12,060
I stopped streaming during fucking daytime hours or business hours...

1928
01:36:12,060 --> 01:36:15,260
...to pacify the business...

1929
01:36:15,260 --> 01:36:18,320
...that has heard me making fucking rambunctious sounds...

1930
01:36:18,320 --> 01:36:19,840
...and has complained to the landlord...

1931
01:36:19,840 --> 01:36:21,320
...who didn't even have the stones...

1932
01:36:21,900 --> 01:36:22,820
...to complain to me.

1933
01:36:23,420 --> 01:36:25,640
They got in touch with the fucking letting agent.

1934
01:36:25,980 --> 01:36:27,660
And the letting agent gave me an email.

1935
01:36:28,000 --> 01:36:30,320
Even though the letting agent told me...

1936
01:36:31,020 --> 01:36:32,940
...in back in the way back when...

1937
01:36:32,940 --> 01:36:34,600
...when I first fucking moved in...

1938
01:36:34,600 --> 01:36:36,380
...that oh any problems now...

1939
01:36:36,380 --> 01:36:38,220
...you're actually going to have to contact the landlord...

1940
01:36:38,220 --> 01:36:38,860
...not me okay.

1941
01:36:39,340 --> 01:36:41,540
Well it's very funny how the landlord got in touch with me...

1942
01:36:41,540 --> 01:36:44,320
...but I find it absolutely disgusting behaviour...

1943
01:36:45,240 --> 01:36:47,320
...from the neighbours or whatever...

1944
01:36:47,840 --> 01:36:49,360
...that they didn't even fucking...

1945
01:36:49,360 --> 01:36:51,180
...think to face me...

1946
01:36:51,180 --> 01:36:52,280
...face to face...

1947
01:36:52,280 --> 01:36:53,520
...to tell me I was...

1948
01:36:53,520 --> 01:36:54,660
...they didn't like the noise...

1949
01:36:54,660 --> 01:36:56,660
...and they went through the strangled route.

1950
01:36:56,740 --> 01:36:58,820
It was like a past the book scenario.

1951
01:37:00,780 --> 01:37:01,460
Anyway...

1952
01:37:01,460 --> 01:37:04,060
...I believe that I am in line for a bollocking...

1953
01:37:04,060 --> 01:37:04,840
...if I carry on...

1954
01:37:04,840 --> 01:37:06,640
...keep carrying on with the noise level...

1955
01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:08,060
...that I have set the standard.

1956
01:37:08,240 --> 01:37:10,380
And why have I started this time you may ask?

1957
01:37:10,420 --> 01:37:12,520
Well I thought I'd start at fucking 8am...

1958
01:37:12,520 --> 01:37:14,580
...because that's not going to ruffle any feathers...

1959
01:37:14,580 --> 01:37:16,100
...but it's tipped over to 10 now...

1960
01:37:16,100 --> 01:37:19,940
...and I could be in for a real fucking short sharp shock.

1961
01:37:20,320 --> 01:37:21,980
The wrong side of Christmas as well.

1962
01:37:21,980 --> 01:37:24,900
...is that it takes advantage of being a web-based design...

1963
01:37:24,900 --> 01:37:26,540
...not looking for any sympathy here.

1964
01:37:27,000 --> 01:37:28,640
...by allowing several people...

1965
01:37:28,640 --> 01:37:30,600
...just telling you how it is.

1966
01:37:30,800 --> 01:37:33,100
...to collaborate in the design of a homepage...

1967
01:37:33,100 --> 01:37:36,220
...so that say members of a family or an organization...

1968
01:37:36,220 --> 01:37:37,620
...scattered across the country...

1969
01:37:37,620 --> 01:37:40,260
...can all work together to create a group homepage.

1970
01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:43,020
Group homepage.

1971
01:37:44,040 --> 01:37:44,900
Group homepage.

1972
01:37:45,200 --> 01:37:47,040
You know the way I like to fucking repeat things?

1973
01:37:47,280 --> 01:37:47,920
Ad nauseum.

1974
01:37:48,360 --> 01:37:50,380
Yeah well that's not fucking pleasant to listen to...

1975
01:37:50,380 --> 01:37:52,640
...if you live near or around me.

1976
01:37:52,800 --> 01:37:52,980
Okay?

1977
01:37:53,140 --> 01:37:56,140
And it's had a deep impact on my life.

1978
01:37:56,260 --> 01:37:58,420
...organization scattered across the country...

1979
01:37:58,420 --> 01:38:01,100
...can all work together to create a group homepage.

1980
01:38:01,420 --> 01:38:04,480
Another nice feature of web-based Java applications...

1981
01:38:04,480 --> 01:38:05,860
...like Homestead is that you...

1982
01:38:05,860 --> 01:38:07,220
...Homestead?

1983
01:38:07,240 --> 01:38:09,880
...never have to worry about updating your software...

1984
01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:10,640
...to the newest version.

1985
01:38:11,040 --> 01:38:13,080
Whenever you log on to Homestead.com...

1986
01:38:13,080 --> 01:38:15,780
...you obviously automatically get the current release.

1987
01:38:16,180 --> 01:38:18,680
This is a very cool new way to use the web...

1988
01:38:18,680 --> 01:38:19,340
...and the power of Java.

1989
01:38:19,340 --> 01:38:19,900
Very cool guys.

1990
01:38:19,920 --> 01:38:21,180
...check it out if you're in the mood...

1991
01:38:21,180 --> 01:38:23,180
...to finally launch your own website.

1992
01:38:23,800 --> 01:38:25,520
That's it for this edition of the Chronicles.

1993
01:38:25,580 --> 01:38:27,300
If you'd like any more information...

1994
01:38:27,300 --> 01:38:28,980
...about anything you saw on the show...

1995
01:38:28,980 --> 01:38:30,540
...please check out our website...

1996
01:38:30,540 --> 01:38:32,680
...CMPTV.com.

1997
01:38:32,880 --> 01:38:33,780
Thanks for watching.

1998
01:38:33,920 --> 01:38:35,160
Hope we'll see you here next time.

1999
01:38:37,600 --> 01:38:39,980
Computer Chronicles is made possible in part...

2000
01:38:39,980 --> 01:38:41,820
...by SoftSource Incorporated...

2001
01:38:41,820 --> 01:38:43,760
...publishers of Pro One Software...

2002
01:38:43,760 --> 01:38:45,600
...educational software for young adults...

2003
01:38:48,600 --> 01:38:50,920
...and by Z Auctions...

2004
01:38:50,920 --> 01:38:53,000
...the live online shopping experience.

2005
01:38:55,500 --> 01:38:56,780
...additional funding from...

2006
01:38:56,780 --> 01:38:58,220
Why have they got a koala bear there?

2007
01:38:58,560 --> 01:39:00,880
...the catalogue and online superstore...

2008
01:39:00,880 --> 01:39:01,960
...with PC and Mac...

2009
01:39:01,960 --> 01:39:04,020
...koala bear in the background look.

2010
01:39:04,100 --> 01:39:04,780
It's demonic.

2011
01:39:11,360 --> 01:39:12,640
Zig, thanks very much.

2012
01:39:13,060 --> 01:39:14,620
...toll-free technical support...

2013
01:39:14,620 --> 01:39:15,440
...and overnight delivery.

2014
01:39:16,640 --> 01:39:18,040
Thank you very much there, Zig.

2015
01:39:18,100 --> 01:39:19,140
Get an Mbappuccino.

2016
01:39:19,260 --> 01:39:19,900
I fucking will do.

2017
01:39:20,380 --> 01:39:21,720
Who would have thought that...

2018
01:39:21,720 --> 01:39:23,420
...fucking scenario would have ended up...

2019
01:39:23,420 --> 01:39:24,380
...the way they did there yesterday...

2020
01:39:24,380 --> 01:39:25,300
...in the World Cup final.

2021
01:39:26,580 --> 01:39:28,780
A proper Mbappuccino...

2022
01:39:28,780 --> 01:39:29,920
...delivery expressed...

2023
01:39:29,920 --> 01:39:30,980
...by the end of the game...

2024
01:39:30,980 --> 01:39:32,760
...and then a pure...

2025
01:39:32,760 --> 01:39:33,760
...crucibalistic...

2026
01:39:33,760 --> 01:39:35,140
...fucking messianic...

2027
01:39:35,140 --> 01:39:36,500
...takedown...

2028
01:39:36,500 --> 01:39:38,100
...of the French.

2029
01:39:39,940 --> 01:39:41,740
And then...

2030
01:39:41,740 --> 01:39:43,300
...why did they put that robe...

2031
01:39:43,300 --> 01:39:44,340
...on Messi at the end?

2032
01:39:44,360 --> 01:39:45,820
It looked like something from...

2033
01:39:45,820 --> 01:39:47,420
...The Empire Strikes Back.

2034
01:39:48,300 --> 01:39:49,860
And then Gary Lineker...

2035
01:39:49,860 --> 01:39:50,740
...said...

2036
01:39:50,740 --> 01:39:51,440
...oh...

2037
01:39:51,440 --> 01:39:53,020
...they shouldn't have put the gown on him.

2038
01:39:53,060 --> 01:39:53,500
It's rubbish.

2039
01:39:54,400 --> 01:39:55,720
And then people were saying...

2040
01:39:55,720 --> 01:39:56,920
...ah, you're racist, man.

2041
01:39:57,500 --> 01:39:58,660
But at the end of the day...

2042
01:39:58,660 --> 01:40:01,040
...it's Argentina have won the fucking cup.

2043
01:40:01,500 --> 01:40:03,340
Why are you putting a black robe...

2044
01:40:03,340 --> 01:40:04,740
...over the jersey of Argentina?

2045
01:40:05,280 --> 01:40:07,140
At least they should have put a fucking...

2046
01:40:08,180 --> 01:40:08,660
...what...

2047
01:40:08,660 --> 01:40:10,500
...the headdress on Messi.

2048
01:40:10,620 --> 01:40:11,660
They shouldn't have put...

2049
01:40:11,660 --> 01:40:13,820
...a black robe over the Argentina jersey.

2050
01:40:14,420 --> 01:40:16,260
It's not about being racist...

2051
01:40:16,260 --> 01:40:17,020
...saying...

2052
01:40:17,020 --> 01:40:18,880
...oh, I don't want to have the fucking...

2053
01:40:18,880 --> 01:40:20,380
...Saudi Arabian Prince...

2054
01:40:20,380 --> 01:40:21,860
...customary black gown.

2055
01:40:23,080 --> 01:40:24,560
It's normal enough to say...

2056
01:40:24,560 --> 01:40:26,280
...I'd like to have the crest of the badge...

2057
01:40:26,280 --> 01:40:28,100
...of the country that I represent...

2058
01:40:28,100 --> 01:40:30,220
...who've just won the fucking World Cup, lads.

2059
01:40:30,820 --> 01:40:31,440
Do you know what I mean?

2060
01:40:32,920 --> 01:40:34,400
But then people were saying...

2061
01:40:34,400 --> 01:40:35,840
...oh, you can't say that, man.

2062
01:40:35,920 --> 01:40:36,620
Because that's...

2063
01:40:36,620 --> 01:40:37,360
...that's not right.

2064
01:40:37,400 --> 01:40:39,320
You're saying that he shouldn't have the customs...

2065
01:40:39,320 --> 01:40:40,160
...of the fucking...

2066
01:40:40,160 --> 01:40:41,040
...the lads out in Qatar.

2067
01:40:41,220 --> 01:40:42,400
Not that way at all.

2068
01:40:43,120 --> 01:40:43,640
Stick...

2069
01:40:43,640 --> 01:40:45,220
...one of the headdresses on...

2070
01:40:45,220 --> 01:40:45,600
...on him.

2071
01:40:45,940 --> 01:40:46,220
Okay?

2072
01:40:46,520 --> 01:40:47,760
Stick one of those on him.

2073
01:40:48,560 --> 01:40:49,620
That would have looked...

2074
01:40:49,620 --> 01:40:50,280
...even better.

2075
01:40:50,380 --> 01:40:51,260
It would have looked funny.

2076
01:40:51,500 --> 01:40:52,700
It would have been hilarious...

2077
01:40:52,700 --> 01:40:53,660
...to see...

2078
01:40:53,660 --> 01:40:54,780
...Lio Messi...

2079
01:40:54,780 --> 01:40:55,880
...winning the World Cup...

2080
01:40:55,880 --> 01:40:57,040
...with one of those...

2081
01:40:57,040 --> 01:40:58,280
...Qatari...

2082
01:40:58,280 --> 01:40:59,160
...fucking white head...

2083
01:40:59,160 --> 01:41:00,700
...with a black band on it.

2084
01:41:00,760 --> 01:41:01,900
It would have been...

2085
01:41:01,900 --> 01:41:02,560
...hilarious.

2086
01:41:02,780 --> 01:41:03,340
Instead...

2087
01:41:03,340 --> 01:41:05,000
...you covered up the jersey...

2088
01:41:05,000 --> 01:41:06,220
...it wouldn't have covered the jersey...

2089
01:41:06,220 --> 01:41:06,700
...if you'd have done that.

2090
01:41:06,780 --> 01:41:07,340
Instead...

2091
01:41:07,340 --> 01:41:08,640
...you've got him wearing...

2092
01:41:08,640 --> 01:41:09,380
...women's laundry.

2093
01:41:09,500 --> 01:41:10,160
It looks like he'd...

2094
01:41:10,160 --> 01:41:11,860
...he'd gone to Victoria's Secrets.

2095
01:41:12,700 --> 01:41:14,160
It looked like his missus...

2096
01:41:14,160 --> 01:41:15,660
...had gone to...

2097
01:41:15,660 --> 01:41:16,620
...it looked like one of the...

2098
01:41:16,620 --> 01:41:18,140
...Qatari owners of the fucking...

2099
01:41:18,140 --> 01:41:20,280
...it looked like Giovanni Infantino...

2100
01:41:20,280 --> 01:41:21,760
...on one of the Qatari lads...

2101
01:41:21,760 --> 01:41:22,960
...had gone into...

2102
01:41:22,960 --> 01:41:24,200
...Lio Messi's...

2103
01:41:24,200 --> 01:41:25,960
...missus's fucking house...

2104
01:41:25,960 --> 01:41:28,700
...while the World Cup was on...

2105
01:41:28,700 --> 01:41:30,740
...had gone into her fucking...

2106
01:41:30,740 --> 01:41:31,740
...lingerie...

2107
01:41:31,740 --> 01:41:33,740
...and took...

2108
01:41:33,740 --> 01:41:34,780
...a see-through...

2109
01:41:34,780 --> 01:41:35,920
...negligé out...

2110
01:41:35,920 --> 01:41:36,700
...and said...

2111
01:41:36,700 --> 01:41:38,380
...we're gonna make the...

2112
01:41:38,380 --> 01:41:39,880
...we're gonna make him wear this.

2113
01:41:44,880 --> 01:41:46,760
That's what I thought it looked like lads...

2114
01:41:46,760 --> 01:41:47,660
...I don't know what I thought...

2115
01:41:47,660 --> 01:41:48,480
...like two custom...

2116
01:41:48,480 --> 01:41:49,720
...just a Qatari custom...

2117
01:41:49,720 --> 01:41:51,280
...or something a little bit more sinister.

2118
01:41:51,660 --> 01:41:53,400
...enterprise and internet...

2119
01:41:53,400 --> 01:41:54,400
...computing news...

2120
01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:54,860
...reviews...

2121
01:41:54,860 --> 01:41:55,780
...thank you very much...

2122
01:41:55,780 --> 01:41:57,120
...peaky stockhammer...

2123
01:41:57,120 --> 01:41:58,000
...how-tos...

2124
01:41:58,000 --> 01:41:59,220
...for a Windows world...

2125
01:41:59,220 --> 01:42:00,080
...because the world...

2126
01:42:00,080 --> 01:42:01,400
...my uncle does the same crack...

2127
01:42:01,400 --> 01:42:03,060
...with repeating the same sentences...

2128
01:42:03,060 --> 01:42:04,560
...or lyric over and over again...

2129
01:42:04,560 --> 01:42:06,160
...his absolute favourite is...

2130
01:42:06,160 --> 01:42:07,720
...come on Barbie...

2131
01:42:07,720 --> 01:42:09,120
...let's go party...

2132
01:42:09,120 --> 01:42:10,260
...love to hear Tom...

2133
01:42:10,260 --> 01:42:11,160
...give him a shout out...

2134
01:42:11,160 --> 01:42:11,920
...Tom, are you there Tom?

2135
01:42:13,520 --> 01:42:14,540
...come on Barbie...

2136
01:42:14,540 --> 01:42:15,840
...let's go party...

2137
01:42:15,840 --> 01:42:16,320
...krrk...

2138
01:42:16,320 --> 01:42:16,880
...krrk...

2139
01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:18,280
...yeah, I don't think...

2140
01:42:18,280 --> 01:42:19,820
...he was asking you to...

2141
01:42:19,820 --> 01:42:21,560
...to say the line...

2142
01:42:21,560 --> 01:42:22,320
...but a shout out...

2143
01:42:22,320 --> 01:42:23,320
...yeah...

2144
01:42:23,960 --> 01:42:24,900
...thanks very much...

2145
01:42:24,900 --> 01:42:25,540
...for the tip there...

2146
01:42:25,540 --> 01:42:26,700
...kiki stockhammer...

2147
01:42:26,700 --> 01:42:27,320
...and...

2148
01:42:27,320 --> 01:42:28,520
...hope you're getting out of it...

2149
01:42:28,520 --> 01:42:29,320
...thank you...

2150
01:42:29,320 --> 01:42:31,320
...runs on Windows...

2151
01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:36,320
...to purchase a videotaped copy...

2152
01:42:36,320 --> 01:42:37,620
...of today's program...

2153
01:42:37,620 --> 01:42:38,320
...call toll-free...

2154
01:42:38,960 --> 01:42:40,320
...1-888...

2155
01:42:40,320 --> 01:42:41,320
...beautiful stuff...

2156
01:42:41,320 --> 01:42:43,320
...310-7850...

2157
01:42:43,320 --> 01:42:44,500
...2-4-10...

2158
01:42:44,500 --> 01:42:45,640
...Charleston Road...

2159
01:42:45,640 --> 01:42:46,500
...we've got an address...

2160
01:42:46,500 --> 01:42:47,400
...that we've never actually...

2161
01:42:47,400 --> 01:42:48,400
...snooped out there...

2162
01:42:48,400 --> 01:42:49,500
...snoop doggy dog...

2163
01:42:50,640 --> 01:42:51,500
...Google Maps...

2164
01:42:52,140 --> 01:42:53,340
...let's get that address...

2165
01:42:53,340 --> 01:42:55,500
...fucking piped into the maps...

2166
01:42:55,500 --> 01:42:58,220
...what's that...

2167
01:42:58,220 --> 01:42:59,340
...computer chronicles...

2168
01:42:59,340 --> 01:43:00,320
...2-4-10...

2169
01:43:00,320 --> 01:43:01,640
...Charleston Road...

2170
01:43:01,640 --> 01:43:02,620
...2-4-10...

2171
01:43:02,620 --> 01:43:03,640
...Charleston Road...

2172
01:43:03,640 --> 01:43:12,820
...Mountain View...

2173
01:43:12,820 --> 01:43:13,820
...California...

2174
01:43:13,820 --> 01:43:15,820
...Mountain...

2175
01:43:15,820 --> 01:43:19,820
...View...

2176
01:43:19,820 --> 01:43:21,820
...California...

2177
01:43:21,820 --> 01:43:22,820
...California...

2178
01:43:22,820 --> 01:43:25,100
...we've got a zip code...

2179
01:43:25,100 --> 01:43:25,820
...at the end of that beast...

2180
01:43:25,820 --> 01:43:28,720
94043

2181
01:43:28,720 --> 01:43:30,280
I'm going to get to you in a second

2182
01:43:30,280 --> 01:43:31,280
let me just remember this

2183
01:43:31,280 --> 01:43:33,120
94043

2184
01:43:33,120 --> 01:43:34,680
I forgot it

2185
01:43:34,680 --> 01:43:36,960
Milaj thank you very very much

2186
01:43:36,960 --> 01:43:42,900
let's keep the whistling down

2187
01:43:42,900 --> 01:43:45,200
I can hear voices downstairs now

2188
01:43:45,200 --> 01:43:46,680
but here's the other thing right

2189
01:43:46,680 --> 01:43:49,060
I can hear them

2190
01:43:49,060 --> 01:43:50,220
and I don't care

2191
01:43:50,220 --> 01:43:51,120
and sometimes

2192
01:43:51,120 --> 01:43:54,860
they'd be talking loud enough

2193
01:43:54,860 --> 01:43:55,780
and it'd be just like

2194
01:43:55,780 --> 01:43:57,320
deaf old shite

2195
01:43:57,320 --> 01:43:59,300
you know

2196
01:43:59,300 --> 01:44:01,900
just get a fucking

2197
01:44:01,900 --> 01:44:03,380
get a grip like

2198
01:44:03,380 --> 01:44:04,480
play a bit of music

2199
01:44:04,480 --> 01:44:06,900
they should be playing a bit of fucking music

2200
01:44:06,900 --> 01:44:07,900
down there or something

2201
01:44:07,900 --> 01:44:10,120
it's ridiculous

2202
01:44:10,120 --> 01:44:10,860
Kevin Kilban

2203
01:44:10,860 --> 01:44:12,860
thank you very very much for the tip there

2204
01:44:12,860 --> 01:44:14,280
and also Milaj as well

2205
01:44:14,280 --> 01:44:17,440
94043

2206
01:44:17,440 --> 01:44:19,520
94043

2207
01:44:19,520 --> 01:44:20,040
94043

2208
01:44:20,040 --> 01:44:22,360
do we have that there now?

2209
01:44:22,580 --> 01:44:23,000
yeah yeah

2210
01:44:23,000 --> 01:44:28,620
yeah

2211
01:44:28,620 --> 01:44:29,760
okay

2212
01:44:29,760 --> 01:44:30,980
let's have a look at that now

2213
01:44:30,980 --> 01:44:32,460
beautiful

2214
01:44:32,460 --> 01:44:40,400
so we're actually going to get a little glimpse here

2215
01:44:40,400 --> 01:44:41,500
into

2216
01:44:41,500 --> 01:44:43,040
where

2217
01:44:43,040 --> 01:44:44,580
computer chronicles

2218
01:44:44,580 --> 01:44:45,260
was

2219
01:44:45,260 --> 01:44:46,000
filmed

2220
01:44:46,000 --> 01:44:47,200
at the time

2221
01:44:47,200 --> 01:44:48,120
it was

2222
01:44:48,120 --> 01:44:49,020
made

2223
01:44:49,020 --> 01:44:50,280
around 98

2224
01:44:50,280 --> 01:44:53,620
and it's now a chipotle

2225
01:44:53,620 --> 01:44:56,460
it's now a chipotle

2226
01:44:56,460 --> 01:44:59,740
just imagined

2227
01:44:59,740 --> 01:45:02,060
that that's where

2228
01:45:02,060 --> 01:45:03,040
you can get a fucking

2229
01:45:03,040 --> 01:45:04,500
really bomb ass

2230
01:45:04,500 --> 01:45:05,480
carnitas

2231
01:45:05,480 --> 01:45:06,260
burrito

2232
01:45:06,260 --> 01:45:08,140
but back in the day

2233
01:45:08,140 --> 01:45:09,040
they were fucking making

2234
01:45:09,040 --> 01:45:10,400
different kind of tortillas

2235
01:45:10,400 --> 01:45:12,660
they were cramming the tortillas

2236
01:45:12,660 --> 01:45:13,260
full of fucking

2237
01:45:13,260 --> 01:45:14,000
processors

2238
01:45:14,000 --> 01:45:15,000
sound cards

2239
01:45:15,000 --> 01:45:15,940
sound blasters

2240
01:45:15,940 --> 01:45:17,960
WAV panels

2241
01:45:17,960 --> 01:45:20,440
the whole shibangle

2242
01:45:20,440 --> 01:45:23,360
get rid of that side panel there

2243
01:45:23,360 --> 01:45:25,860
let's try and take a little look around here

2244
01:45:25,860 --> 01:45:29,080
and see if we can come to terms with the situation at hand

2245
01:45:29,080 --> 01:45:32,840
I wonder if we've got that right

2246
01:45:32,840 --> 01:45:37,740
was that chipotle a fucking tv studio back in the day

2247
01:45:37,740 --> 01:45:39,940
these look like lots that could have been something

2248
01:45:39,940 --> 01:45:42,580
hawaiian barbecue

2249
01:45:42,580 --> 01:45:44,640
eric's deli

2250
01:45:44,640 --> 01:45:46,700
or

2251
01:45:46,700 --> 01:45:47,800
is this

2252
01:45:47,800 --> 01:45:49,540
what we're looking for over here

2253
01:45:49,540 --> 01:45:51,240
this looks more studioistic

2254
01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:51,960
stew

2255
01:45:51,960 --> 01:45:52,560
stew

2256
01:45:52,560 --> 01:45:53,360
chefayistic

2257
01:45:53,360 --> 01:45:55,400
that's more of a studio isn't it

2258
01:45:55,400 --> 01:45:56,100
look at that

2259
01:45:56,100 --> 01:45:58,180
you got the entrance there for the fucking

2260
01:45:58,180 --> 01:46:00,560
hardware goods and services entrance

2261
01:46:00,560 --> 01:46:02,720
you'd be wheeling in

2262
01:46:02,720 --> 01:46:04,180
loading in and loading out

2263
01:46:04,180 --> 01:46:05,980
tv productions

2264
01:46:05,980 --> 01:46:06,980
studio stuff

2265
01:46:06,980 --> 01:46:10,240
that's definitely the studio there

2266
01:46:10,240 --> 01:46:11,300
it's not the chipotle

2267
01:46:11,300 --> 01:46:11,840
we've

2268
01:46:11,840 --> 01:46:13,320
we've found it

2269
01:46:13,320 --> 01:46:15,960
we've found it

2270
01:46:15,960 --> 01:46:18,860
look at this

2271
01:46:18,860 --> 01:46:19,540
we get in there

2272
01:46:19,540 --> 01:46:20,060
lovely

2273
01:46:20,060 --> 01:46:21,100
love street view

2274
01:46:21,100 --> 01:46:23,100
spend a lot of time on street view

2275
01:46:23,100 --> 01:46:25,660
wasting time on street view

2276
01:46:25,660 --> 01:46:29,340
it's my favorite thing

2277
01:46:29,340 --> 01:46:29,900
on the

2278
01:46:29,900 --> 01:46:30,720
on the web

2279
01:46:30,720 --> 01:46:33,060
I'm

2280
01:46:33,060 --> 01:46:35,640
I'm not being hyperbolic

2281
01:46:35,640 --> 01:46:37,800
that I think it's my favorite thing on the web

2282
01:46:37,800 --> 01:46:39,780
and it's a

2283
01:46:39,780 --> 01:46:41,680
it's an absolute shame

2284
01:46:41,680 --> 01:46:42,860
that Germany

2285
01:46:42,860 --> 01:46:45,280
doesn't allow street view

2286
01:46:45,280 --> 01:46:49,800
but apparently you can circumvent that by using apple maps

2287
01:46:49,800 --> 01:46:53,840
uh but who wants to use apple maps you know

2288
01:46:53,840 --> 01:46:56,100
it's all about this

2289
01:46:56,100 --> 01:46:57,300
google app

2290
01:46:57,300 --> 01:47:00,860
I'm not trying to fucking blow smoke up google's hole

2291
01:47:00,860 --> 01:47:01,740
far from it

2292
01:47:01,740 --> 01:47:02,480
I

2293
01:47:02,480 --> 01:47:04,720
I'm very scared by uh

2294
01:47:04,720 --> 01:47:08,240
the omnipresent google fucking clutch

2295
01:47:08,240 --> 01:47:11,060
on our collective bollocks

2296
01:47:11,060 --> 01:47:12,840
but at the same time

2297
01:47:12,840 --> 01:47:16,020
they make a lot of good shit as well at the same time you know

2298
01:47:16,020 --> 01:47:17,540
and this is

2299
01:47:17,540 --> 01:47:18,540
they got in early

2300
01:47:18,540 --> 01:47:20,420
whoever had the brainwave to do this

2301
01:47:20,420 --> 01:47:21,580
google maps

2302
01:47:21,580 --> 01:47:26,880
whoever had the brainwave to do it

2303
01:47:26,880 --> 01:47:29,560
there could have been other companies that could have got in on this

2304
01:47:29,560 --> 01:47:31,700
but when google did google earth

2305
01:47:31,700 --> 01:47:33,020
and uh

2306
01:47:33,020 --> 01:47:35,580
google maps and all that kind of crack

2307
01:47:35,580 --> 01:47:39,200
they really got in there early and nice

2308
01:47:39,200 --> 01:47:39,880
look at this

2309
01:47:39,880 --> 01:47:41,660
it's not a fucking studio at all

2310
01:47:41,660 --> 01:47:43,160
it's a costco

2311
01:47:43,160 --> 01:47:46,960
unless it started off as a studio

2312
01:47:46,960 --> 01:47:47,740
and costco

2313
01:47:47,740 --> 01:47:49,040
bought it

2314
01:47:49,040 --> 01:47:51,440
and ported it from uh

2315
01:47:51,440 --> 01:47:53,760
computer chronicles into a supermarket

2316
01:47:53,760 --> 01:47:54,120
or

2317
01:47:54,120 --> 01:47:56,160
uh fucking what is it uh

2318
01:47:56,160 --> 01:47:58,660
what what is it costco

2319
01:47:58,660 --> 01:48:00,380
is it a supermarket or is it a fucking

2320
01:48:00,380 --> 01:48:02,020
heavy duty goods

2321
01:48:02,020 --> 01:48:04,000
scenario

2322
01:48:04,000 --> 01:48:05,500
it's a

2323
01:48:05,500 --> 01:48:06,800
what what you call that stuff

2324
01:48:06,800 --> 01:48:08,460
what you call

2325
01:48:08,460 --> 01:48:09,560
costco

2326
01:48:09,560 --> 01:48:15,940
board

2327
01:48:15,940 --> 01:48:16,600
board

2328
01:48:16,600 --> 01:48:17,620
license plate

2329
01:48:17,620 --> 01:48:22,400
i'm losing my mind

2330
01:48:22,400 --> 01:48:23,300
i can't remember what the

2331
01:48:23,300 --> 01:48:24,080
cash and carry

2332
01:48:24,080 --> 01:48:24,860
fucking hell

2333
01:48:24,860 --> 01:48:27,400
but they don't call it cash and carry in states

2334
01:48:27,400 --> 01:48:28,000
they call it

2335
01:48:28,000 --> 01:48:29,040
wholesale

2336
01:48:29,040 --> 01:48:29,960
that's it

2337
01:48:29,960 --> 01:48:31,740
mr grift yo gaff

2338
01:48:31,740 --> 01:48:32,720
thank you very much

2339
01:48:32,720 --> 01:48:36,320
yeah

2340
01:48:36,320 --> 01:48:41,900
i think costco was originally the studios for stewardship phase computer chronicles

2341
01:48:47,900 --> 01:48:50,540
we're looking at this chipotle here

2342
01:48:50,540 --> 01:48:55,540
doesn't look like it could have been

2343
01:48:55,540 --> 01:48:58,140
what about this building over here

2344
01:48:58,140 --> 01:48:59,940
it's got a few offices upstairs

2345
01:48:59,940 --> 01:49:00,500
hey

2346
01:49:00,500 --> 01:49:03,760
hey

2347
01:49:03,760 --> 01:49:05,860
max hour

2348
01:49:05,860 --> 01:49:09,280
got a blur on it

2349
01:49:09,280 --> 01:49:12,940
max hour building 48

2350
01:49:12,940 --> 01:49:22,800
whether it is or it isn't is irrelevant at this stage in time we have

2351
01:49:22,800 --> 01:49:30,740
found the the you know approximate area of where this uh please special production took place

2352
01:49:30,740 --> 01:49:41,580
We saw that one last week

2353
01:49:41,580 --> 01:49:42,720
Wasn't as good

2354
01:49:42,720 --> 01:49:44,780
Wasn't as good as I thought it would be

2355
01:49:44,780 --> 01:49:52,440
Video brush

2356
01:49:52,440 --> 01:50:00,580
Come on

2357
01:50:00,580 --> 01:50:02,720
Look at how one NBC TV affiliate

2358
01:50:02,720 --> 01:50:05,140
Is moving to digital desktop video

2359
01:50:05,140 --> 01:50:07,020
And how you can create your own

2360
01:50:07,020 --> 01:50:08,100
Dancing baby

2361
01:50:08,100 --> 01:50:09,780
Also my pick of the week

2362
01:50:09,780 --> 01:50:11,460
It's all coming up next week

2363
01:50:11,460 --> 01:50:12,880
On the Computer Chronicles

2364
01:50:12,880 --> 01:50:14,740
I wonder did Shafay

2365
01:50:14,740 --> 01:50:17,800
Film all these in a day

2366
01:50:17,800 --> 01:50:18,660
Did he do a few of them

2367
01:50:18,660 --> 01:50:20,460
It seems a bit fucking wasteful

2368
01:50:20,460 --> 01:50:21,820
Just to film one of them on a day

2369
01:50:21,820 --> 01:50:25,520
Did he just go and change clothes after this

2370
01:50:25,520 --> 01:50:26,760
And then film the next episode

2371
01:50:26,760 --> 01:50:27,900
Not sure

2372
01:50:27,900 --> 01:50:30,420
Just want to play the tune

2373
01:50:30,420 --> 01:50:32,400
Kiss from a seal by a rose

2374
01:50:32,400 --> 01:50:35,420
And I'm going to put an effect on it

2375
01:50:35,420 --> 01:50:37,080
So we've got a bit of echo as well

2376
01:50:37,080 --> 01:50:41,040
And maybe we'll put a picture of seal's face on screen

2377
01:50:41,040 --> 01:50:45,380
Seal from a rose

2378
01:50:45,380 --> 01:50:55,080
And interestingly enough now it was the fucking theme tune to Batman Forever

2379
01:50:55,080 --> 01:50:59,000
Which was the decline in the Batman franchise

2380
01:50:59,000 --> 01:51:00,780
Maybe it started with Returns

2381
01:51:00,780 --> 01:51:02,280
I don't think Returns was that bad

2382
01:51:02,280 --> 01:51:05,160
Forever started to go downhill

2383
01:51:05,160 --> 01:51:05,920
Val Kilmer

2384
01:51:05,920 --> 01:51:07,380
Jim Carrey

2385
01:51:07,380 --> 01:51:10,180
And then obviously Batman and Robin after that

2386
01:51:10,180 --> 01:51:11,820
Had fucking Mr. Freeze

2387
01:51:11,820 --> 01:51:13,480
Arnold Schwarzenegger in it

2388
01:51:13,480 --> 01:51:15,580
Absolutely terrible stuff altogether

2389
01:51:15,580 --> 01:51:22,900
But I was just thought I'd try and sing it in a new language earlier on

2390
01:51:22,900 --> 01:51:25,280
And you might have missed it when I played this earlier on

2391
01:51:25,280 --> 01:51:26,140
So here we go again

2392
01:51:26,140 --> 01:51:26,160
So here we go again

2393
01:51:26,160 --> 01:51:56,140
Thank you.

2394
01:51:56,140 --> 01:52:26,120
Thank you.

2395
01:52:26,120 --> 01:52:28,120
Thank you.

2396
01:52:28,120 --> 01:52:30,120
Thank you.

2397
01:52:30,120 --> 01:52:32,120
Thank you.

2398
01:52:32,120 --> 01:52:34,120
Thank you.

2399
01:52:34,120 --> 01:52:35,800
There we go.

2400
01:52:36,840 --> 01:52:37,760
Haunting stuff.

2401
01:52:38,500 --> 01:52:40,820
Somebody says there, Higgy Smalls says haunting.

2402
01:52:41,740 --> 01:52:45,280
I'm going to get a cup of coffee now and I'll try and get back on.

2403
01:52:45,680 --> 01:52:46,260
What was I going to say?

2404
01:52:46,300 --> 01:52:50,500
I had a massive bowl of porridge with fucking blueberries, strawberries and bananas.

2405
01:52:50,660 --> 01:52:51,920
It's been a little 10 past six.

2406
01:52:52,920 --> 01:53:00,360
And I sang that there on my own in the room with no lights on at around, I'd say, quarter to eight.

2407
01:53:00,700 --> 01:53:02,140
And then I thought, you know what?

2408
01:53:02,580 --> 01:53:04,920
Let's stick on some HTML Computer Chronicles.

2409
01:53:05,680 --> 01:53:08,520
And then when I was watching that, I thought, let's get on stream.

2410
01:53:09,080 --> 01:53:14,520
And that really has been a great morning stream for me because I've managed to get that out there.

2411
01:53:14,600 --> 01:53:15,660
That's in the public conscience.

2412
01:53:15,860 --> 01:53:18,240
And I've got the fucking Computer Chronicles as well.

2413
01:53:18,580 --> 01:53:21,060
So I'm just going to end this one now.

2414
01:53:21,120 --> 01:53:23,840
But with a mindset to try and get back as well.

2415
01:53:23,920 --> 01:53:24,260
Tom.

2416
01:53:25,000 --> 01:53:31,980
Yeah, it would be great to get back onto something, possibly even maybe Hitman or something else at least.

2417
01:53:32,140 --> 01:53:33,580
You know, don't waste the energy.

2418
01:53:33,760 --> 01:53:35,100
The day has started strong.

2419
01:53:35,640 --> 01:53:37,620
Keep the fucking day rolling.

2420
01:53:37,760 --> 01:53:38,740
That's all I got to say.

2421
01:53:39,960 --> 01:53:41,060
That's all I got to say as well.

2422
01:53:41,300 --> 01:53:42,680
Thanks very much anyway for tuning in.

2423
01:53:42,700 --> 01:53:43,620
So far, so good.

2424
01:53:43,700 --> 01:53:44,480
We'll talk to you in a bit.

2425
01:53:45,020 --> 01:53:48,120
And best of luck to you guys there.

2426
01:53:48,120 --> 01:53:52,740
Let's play those Chronicle-lization theme tunes once more again, just for the outro there.

2427
01:53:52,740 --> 01:53:57,180
We'll see you later, guys.

2428
01:53:57,380 --> 01:53:57,700
Bye-bye.

2429
01:53:57,700 --> 01:54:06,740
Bye-bye.
